The Best...

...free things in the City.

Ya'll know I'm broke as a joke (why do people say that? Are jokes really that broke?), but I love to eat and drink and party. Put those three things together and you got one very thrifty Jaded NYer.

But why should I have all the free fun? Here's the free stuff I know about. I'm sure this is just 1/1000000000th of the free things out there!

Dancers:

There are a ton of "no cover" type dance clubs in the boroughs, but Lower Manhattan also has a host of them. Try Bembe in Williamsburg; Gonzalez y Gonzalez in NoHo (only on the weekends); and Plan B (LES).

Movie Junkies:

OK, so this might be slightly immoral and 100% illegal, but I've "heard" that if you go to the 84th Street (and Broadway) movie theater, you can see two films for the price of one. How? Security is pretty lax at the Upper West Side flick house, so you just simply...do it.

Some of the museums around the city also sponsor free film screenings, as does the City Parks Department (mostly in the summer).

Other alternatives include getting on Time Out New York's or the NY Film Academy's mailing list (they offer free pre-screenings from time to time), and logging on to http://www.alluc.org/ or http://www.tv-links.co.uk/. Yeah, this is also shady and probably illegal, but hey, it's how I saw The Black Dahlia and realized what a piece of crap it was. Imagine if I'd paid money for it? I'd be pissed!!!

Music-o-philes:

Here's where myspace comes in handy. "Friend" MySpace Secret Shows and you'll be alerted of surprise secret shows by today's newest, hottest acts. This does not include the Kanye's and Madonna's of the world, but still, a free concert is a free concert!

Foodies:

So maybe you can't get an entire meal for free in the city, but Whole Foods usually has samples all day. Eat enough of these tiny bite-sized yummies and you'll be good until you get home...and heat up the Ramen.

Also, find arty friends. And then go with them to art openings. There's always alcohol, and if you're lucky: food!! You can even attend the BFA shows at the trillion art schools around the City. If it's one thing I learned at Alfred is that student art shows always have the best food!

If you can't find anything that tickles your fancy in my suggestions, then log onto: http://www.freenyc.net/. If you can't find something fun and free to do on that site, then you're a picky little brat. I'm just sayin'...

*smooches...saving every penny for my brownstone*

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Comforted

a solace of ripe plums

seeming to fill the air
They taste good to her