Joel Osteen is coming to Madison Square Garden next weekend. And guess who's going with their mami and tia? That's right bitches, I'm going to hear my boo dish out the inspirational and motivational speeches he's known for. And what of it?
Listen, don't get all nervous- I'm not saying I'm gonna turn into a Jesus freak and start protesting at abortion clinics and give up alcohol (although my liver would probably really thank me!), but this slovenly life of debauchery I've been living can't have a good ending to it, so I'm trying to make positive changes. This does not change my feelings on organized religion or my belief that it fucks people's heads up; I'm merely going for the pep talk.
Not to mention that the day after Joely-bear and I hang out, Lani and I are attending a meditation event in the City.
God (no pun intended), I need this shyt so bad, readers. My spirit is broken, ripped to shreds and left in the gutter somewhere in Riverdale, and I need to learn how to mend it ASAP. Being the Jaded NYer is fun and all, and I do get a kick out of it, and it helps my writing, but dammit it's exhausting! Just once I'd like to accept a compliment without rolling my eyes. Or face an obstacle without locking myself in the bathroom to throw a crying hissy-fit because "things NEVER go my way!" Just once.
And seeing Joely-bear and shutting the god damn voices in my head once and for all seem like a good way to start.
*smooches...on my way...where? I'll know when I get there...*
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All wholsom food is caught without a net or a trap.
Bring out number weight & measure in a year of dearth.
No bird soars too high, if he soars with his own wings.
A dead body, revenges not injuries.
The most sublime act is to set another before you.
If the fool would persist in his folly he would become wise.
Folly is the cloke of knavery.
Shame is Prides cloke.
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6 comments:
Girl, this ain't gonna make up for last weekend, no matter how hard you try!!
LMAO!!!
Foiled again!!!
Uh, absolutely not! You cannot cannot cannot go to see him. Seriously. You cannot be that desperate.
I am honestly ashamed of you.
OMG- what's wrong with Joely-bear? I like to hear him speak!
Answer me this question - remember that episode of SATC when Carrie and the girls went to the bookstore looking at book covers for Carrie's book. Remember Charlotte's experience in the Self-Help section? Joel is the self-help section of the bookstore.
Only really pathetic, desperate women, or those who have the hots for him, are going to see him speak. Do you really need someone else to tell you how to live your life? Are you seriously that lost in life that you cannot figure these things out? And do you really truly think that this man has all the answers to make your life perfect. Come on! You are so much smarter than that. Yuo are jaded for the JadedNyer for a reason.
It's all buushit!
ok...I have vented. That's all I've got.
whoa whoa whao...tell me how you really think! LOL
First of all, I'm not going to let him tell me how to live my life- you know me better than that. I'm going for motivation, inspiration, etc. If I knew how to fix my mess of a life on my own I would have done it already, don't you think? I might just get there and decide he's full of shit, and that's ok. But I might go there and have what Oprah used to call "a lightbulb moment" and finally get off my ass and get my shit together.
I wish I could say I can do it myslef but look around me...I truly madly deeply cannot.
So please rest assured I'm not looking to him to be my guru or leader or anything like that. Of course he doesn't have the answer for MY life because he's not me. But I don't think it's pathetic or desperate to go and hear what he has to say if the underlying message is uplifting and positive and brings good energy and offers some suggestons and direction.
And anything that will allow me to be open to accepting the right path for me can't be that bad.
Plus...you know I'm gonna ignore all the religious subtexts in his message... and maybe I kinda do have the hots for him...so sue me!
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