I Will Become The Best Me Or Die Trying

Joel Osteen is coming to Madison Square Garden next weekend. And guess who's going with their mami and tia? That's right bitches, I'm going to hear my boo dish out the inspirational and motivational speeches he's known for. And what of it?

Listen, don't get all nervous- I'm not saying I'm gonna turn into a Jesus freak and start protesting at abortion clinics and give up alcohol (although my liver would probably really thank me!), but this slovenly life of debauchery I've been living can't have a good ending to it, so I'm trying to make positive changes. This does not change my feelings on organized religion or my belief that it fucks people's heads up; I'm merely going for the pep talk.

Not to mention that the day after Joely-bear and I hang out, Lani and I are attending a meditation event in the City.

God (no pun intended), I need this shyt so bad, readers. My spirit is broken, ripped to shreds and left in the gutter somewhere in Riverdale, and I need to learn how to mend it ASAP. Being the Jaded NYer is fun and all, and I do get a kick out of it, and it helps my writing, but dammit it's exhausting! Just once I'd like to accept a compliment without rolling my eyes. Or face an obstacle without locking myself in the bathroom to throw a crying hissy-fit because "things NEVER go my way!" Just once.

And seeing Joely-bear and shutting the god damn voices in my head once and for all seem like a good way to start.

*smooches...on my way...where? I'll know when I get there...*
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All wholsom food is caught without a net or a trap.
Bring out number weight & measure in a year of dearth.
No bird soars too high, if he soars with his own wings.
A dead body, revenges not injuries.
The most sublime act is to set another before you.
If the fool would persist in his folly he would become wise.
Folly is the cloke of knavery.
Shame is Prides cloke.