When Single Moms Attack

Last month I joined a Yahoo Group for single parents in the Park Slope area, figuring I should really try and meet other parents in the nabe, get my kids involved in shyt, be a grown-up...that kind of stuff.

What the hell was I thinking?

Obviously I forgot that although I am a very good mom, I come from the Anti-parenting school of child rearing, and am not one of these super-sensitive, over-protective, hovering, organic-within-an-inch-of-their-lives Park Slope parents. You know the type: "Blake has karate on Tuesdays and on Wednesday we go to the Farmer's Market for that organic rhubarb pie he loves so much, then we go home and talk about our day...he's like my best friend."

I hate that shit. My kids are fed, groomed, housed, clothed, taught life lessons and occasionally, when they deserve it, we'll have take-out Fridays or a movie night or a crazy dance party and make-over nights. But we're NOT best friends. We are parent and child, period, and TRUST me- they understand the difference!

Recently, one of parents on the forum recently posted that she was going through some isht and then someone else suggested a small gathering to hang and relax and hash things out, but offered up a Monday night time. Well that got everybody's panties all in a bunch because it was a non-kid-friendly event.

Now I can't go either- Monday at 8PM the last thing I want to do is talk about ex husbands and wives and the whole "woe is me" aspect of it. But some parents got all in a huff because their precious Blakey-poos weren't invited. Um, hello? If I'm gonna sit around and talk sensitive adult matters I really do not want kids around. It's not appropriate. So I kindly declined and said I couldn't make it- no explanation, just can't make it. Other parents felt the need to go into why they feel personally attacked at having to choose between their kids and an event.

If you can't/won't go, then just don't! Why the drama? Did I really need to be all distressed by your retarded message board post so early in the morning? I'll be damned if I let some kids dictate what I do...

*smooches...wondering if Park Slope is really the place for me*
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And now: it is easy to forget
what I came for
among so many who have always
lived here
swaying their crenellated fans
between the reefs
and besides
you breathe differently down here.