Thursday, November 29, 2007

The Jaded NYer Goes To The Doctor, Pt. 1

Alright already. I went to the doctor.

He took my blood pressure (110/80- much better from last time when my German doctor gave me a stern warning that my BP was too low!) listened to my heart (normal) looked at my throat and ears (both normal) and weighed me (a very DEPRESSING 176; up 8 lbs from August!) and then gave me the side-eye when I divulged how long it had been since my last physical.

I then had to let him know about the pains I've been actively ignoring for almost three years, and that earned me another side-eye. And then he asked when I'd been to the OB/GYN last. So I punched him in his face and told him to mind his goddamn business.

At the end of the visit, I had this sheet (for the lab) with a laundry list of tests that I needed to have ASAP. Tests that require sharp needles and peeing into a cup in a nasty, germy public restroom. That's this weekend *gulp*.

So I guess that's when the mystery pain will reveal its true self. Is it the kidneys? The ovaries? The bladder? I'm personally hoping to be able to vote the ovaries off the island, but with my luck I'll be on dialysis by March!

*smooches...learning that the first step towards recovery is admitting there is a pain in my side and it's not going away on its own...*
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can we have a moment of silence for my $15 co-pay? Damn HMO...

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

No, dear - the first step to recovery is ensuring that you completely flatten the doctor when you punch him in the face. Carry on.

lanibear said...

How in the world can you be afraid of needles when you have tattoos? Silly rabbit.....

The Jaded NYer said...

@ Anonymous: I couldn't flatten him. I needed him to sign my referral sheet for the lab

@ sweetabear: I am afraid of needles, but there's no other way to get a badass tattoo without them so I just had to suck it up, do my Lamaze breathing and find a happy place...LOL

Terri D. said...

lol, lamaze breathing. Seriously though I can never pee in that cup. It always takes me like an hour to get it together. And then once I do it, it's like it doesn't stop. $150? Highway robbery, I say!