We Never Asked You To Be Punk Bitches...

Lately I've been disappointed with the men I've been meeting. And 90% of the time it's because I feel like The Man in the relationship. Not that I'm trying to set Feminism back 30 years or anything, and no, I don't want a guy to pull out my chair or open the car door or bring me flowers and candy and say things like, "No wife of mine is going to get a job," but it would be nice if men would just be MEN.

Like, make a plan for the evening and follow through. Don't make a plan and then at the last minute say, "eh, I'm not feeling it" and then leave it up to me, ME- the person who took THIRTEEN YEARS to decide that maybe my ex wasn't the one for me- to make a final decision on alternate plans.

Don't be wishy-washy, either. I don't respect wishy-washy. You know what you want, right? Then fucking say so. Be a fucking man and fucking say so. Then I can decide if it's what I want and let you know my answer.

And know that I say what I mean. Maybe other women you've encountered are different, but if I say: I'm a busy person and therefore do not make any commitments, believe that to be true. DO NOT be all demanding of my time like a little bitch. And for chrissake don't BEG!!

I don't like to be chased- call me crazy but that makes me want to get a restraining order- and I certainly don't chase anyone either. What I want is to hear what you want: "I'd like to see you," or "Let's just be f*** buddies" or even "I'm seeing like 12 other females right now, so I'll call you in about a month, okay?" I can respect that 100%.

And in turn I will tell you what I want: "no I can't see you this week; I'm busy" or "I'm not in the mood to go out, I'll catch up with you next week" or even "I'm annoyed with my hair and it has put me in a funk so I shouldn't really be around people right now."

And none of these have anything to do with whether or not I like you, okay, because you know why? I MEAN WHAT I FUCKING SAY!!

Now, I realize this post has gone off on a tangent and I'm ranting and quite possibly throwing an E-tantrum, so I will stop here, and instead of going on and on about what PUNK BITCHES reside in NYC proper and it's surrounding counties, I will post part of a cute/funny/semi-true article/list I read in Men's Health. Yeah, I read Men's Health. You got a problem with that?

From, "50 Things She Wishes You Knew" by Lisa Jones. I've only posted the ones I agree with:

1. Saying "I love you" immediately before, during, or following sex doesn't count.

3. I will leave if you lie.

6. I love it when you hug me from behind and whisper in my ear.

10. I get turned on simply seeing that I have an e-mail from you.

11. I expect you to call me.

12. Only rock stars are allowed to wear leather pants.

13. I'm scared of losing my independence.

14. I'm more forgiving of you than I really should be.

23. You should never tell me what to do.

24. If I slept over, you owe me breakfast.

25. My breasts love much licking and sucking.

26. If you ask me out directly, I will say yes.

28. I'm unimpressed with a man who doesn't take the lead.

31. Women get urinary-tract infections easily, so watch (and wash) your fingers.

33. You're sexy when you're shaving, fixing things, wearing a white T-shirt and jeans, driving, eating a peach, holding a baby.

34. I need to hear how you feel about me. Often. Tell me now.

36. I want to be the best thing that ever happened to you--and for you to recognize this.

41. I love it when you're sweaty.

44. I like porn.

46. Even nice girls like hushed dirty talk in public.

47. It's cheating as soon as you're doing something with her that you wouldn't want me to see, hear, read...

48. For the record: I'd rather you break up with me than cheat.

Click here for the complete list/article.

Click here for the list of things men want us ladies to know.

*smooches...busy building up that wall again*
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maybe I should look into getting some cats, that way when I'm an old spinster I can at least be the crazy old lady down the street with all the cats...