Friday's Nausea Brought To You By Lady Estrogen
I had plans. Good plans. FUN plans. For the first time in WEEKS. But noooooooo... The Lady had other plans. SO I had to stay my ass home and pass up a possible bump-in with famous people and free drinks with new friends. I hate my girl parts, I really do...
Cleaning House, Pt. 1
Among the other million trillion reasons to love my annoying little sis, she came over this weekend and helped me tackle the wild jungles of my messy apartment. It's hard to believe that such a small space can be such a HazMat target, but me and my girls have special mess-making skills...it's a gift, I can't explain it.
In Defense Of The Tiger
I'm sorry for the Sousa family's loss, but the tiger didn't belong in captivity, and was only acting instinctively. AND, I'm not a betting person, but there were allegations of the teens perhaps taunting the animal... Survival of the fittest, I always say.
Normal? That's What You Called Me For?
I don't know about you, but when I get a phone call from a physician's receptionist stating that the doctor "needs to" see me, of course I'm assuming that it's something important and crucial and just can't wait. NOT, as the case was with my wack-ass foreign doctor (yes, that is important to the story), just a call to say that my blood test and urinalysis was normal. I hate doctors even more than I hate my girl parts...
I Can't See His Face
So I'm watching a Gilmore Girls marathon this weekend, right, and one episode has a character listening to a self-help tape on finding your true love. Part of the tape had an exercise in visualizing the one you love, and asked the "reader" a series of questions like: Who's the person who'd make your vacation more enjoyable? Can you see [his] face? When you have good news, who do you most want to share it with? Can you see [his] face? I tried to play along and you know what I came up with? BUPKISS!
You know who makes my vacations more enjoyable? My friends and family. You know who I call first when I have good news to share? My friends and family. That "guy"-- THE guy...he just doesn't exist...
Cleaning House, Pt. 2
Hey, Chef, SVA Guy, and all your colleagues... it's been real, it's been fun, I've got enough stories and escapades to last me a lifetime. But this is the end of the line for you. This is your stop. This is where you get off and go home. And stop calling me. And forget you ever met me. As of January 1st I shall be doing the same.
*smooches...so so ready for the next year*
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what's worse? that I can't see his face or that I don't care that I can't see his face? sometimes I wonder if I'm even human...
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4 comments:
My stupid a** doctor did that to me during my last visit. He left a message on my work phone at 3:30 on a friday saying he needed to speak with me. Talk about a bad weekend. And everything was ok in the end.
I hate it when the lady shows up right when you've got plans to do it big. She is a motherbitch. As is that doctor. What the hell is his problem? Though I'm glad the tests were normal and hope you're feeling better.
All the best for 08!
I found your blog on Technorati. You made me laugh and I thought i'd leave a comment and tell ya. Hope you have a Happy New Year!
@ anonymous: they must teach a special course in Medical School titled, "Sadism: A Doctor's Guide to Exploiting Their Powers"
@ bangs and a bun: well the tests were normal but the pain is still there...I've already found a new doc that I will call in the new year. Happy 2008 to you, too!
@ kelly: thanks for the shout-out and welcome to my craziness. I'll be sure to visit your world, too, real soon.
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