It's Scary How Much They Resemble Me

Two separate conversations I had with my kids today...

Situation: K needed the computer to sketch a microscope for homework and I gave her a small window before I kicked her out of my chair... I even started a 5-second countdown--

Me: Five...

K: (frantic) I NEED A PIECE OF PAPER!

Me: Four...

K: I NEED A PENCIL!

Me: Three...

K: I NEED SOMETHING TO LEAN ON!

Me: Two...

K: I NEED CHEESE!!

Situation: I'm milking my illness for all it's worth and REALLY don't want to cook dinner, so I try to manipulate K into cooking by offering ridiculous meal options--

Me: What's for dinner girls?

K: I don't know...mommy?

Me: We could have crescent rolls... with poop...

K: No, I've had poop. It's not very good.

N: Especially green poop...

*smooches...so sorry I ever introduced them to sarcasm*
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I feel so sorry for the poor idiot who falls in love with them...