I shared this tidbit of information with Cathi recently as we traded "woe is me" stories about being a single parent. Of course she always wins because she has one more kid than me and they're all pretty young, PLUS she has a dog. I can't compete.
Still, we both agreed that we need wives.
If it weren't for the fact that she's married to life in Massachusetts and I, well, I'm a die hard NYer, we could be each other's wife. It would be perfect: I'd cook and she'd wash dishes. She'd wash the clothes and clean the house and I'd be in charge of all five kids, plus still freelance from home. She'd obviously be the main breadwinner, and every night she'd come home to perfectly behaved children and a hot home-cooked meal.
Then, after we'd tuck the babies in at night, we'd hire a sitter to stay in while we partied like it was 1999. With cops. Or firemen. Or sailors. YUM!
Perfection.
In the meantime, my kitchen looked like this all week:
Cathi... hurry up and marry me already... there was a strange smell in my sink and I was afraid to go and see what it was... the stench was too strong, though, and my OCD about strange smells wouldn't let me sleep.
I finally gave in and, um, you don't want to know what I found but it's gone now. I had to actually don those stupid yellow gloves and turn on the water and WASH DISHES. BY MYSELF. On Lazy Sunday! It's just not fair!
See:
If you value our friendship, you won't subject me to these atrocities any longer. These hands were born to type, not wash dishes like some lowly
*smooches...with the distinct feeling that my grandmother is turning over in her tomb because I posted pics of my dirty kitchen*
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sorry, grandma! but in my defense... I just didn't feel like washing them...
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Title courtesy of Ayo, "Life is Real"
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21 comments:
You "clean up" very well.
there was a strange smell in my sink and I was afraid to go and see what it was you handled your business though. also, there are men who can cook and clean and properly raise children as well.
and you do know that you have your cooking oil too close to the fire, right? lol.
@rich- thanks; just wish I didn't have to!!
@don- are you volunteering to come clean my house for me? lol
RE: oil on the stove... that might be an issue for amateurs, but didn't you hear? I'm the Dominican Julia Childs :P
(don't worry- I have a fire extingusher right by the stove in the cabinet)
are you volunteering to come clean my house for me? lol
how crazy is it that i know how to cook, clean, and give "my blog post 2day." you want to meet up @ the bloggers event in atlanta in june.
lol @ julia childs reference.
See if I said I needed a wife for this reason I'd be labeled as sexist. damn double standards lol
Now I need to go battle my kitchen.
lmao... I am soooooooooo mad you started this post off with "I need a wife"
HAHA I am so mad at mexican bus boy! LMAO!
But I feel you thank god the new place has a DISHWASHER!
As a bachelor I keep paper plates, cups, plastic spoons the whole hose is disposable.
@don- there's a meet-up in June? send me the dates and I'll see if I can make it... my job is real janky about days off!
*smiling because Don is offering to be my wife*
LMAO!!
@homer- if you were to say that I wouldn't be mad at you 'cause I know the struggle, man! lol
@eb- I do need a wife; I used to have my ex-hubby doing all the chores but now that we split I have to do it all myself... I was pretty spoiled :)
@The F$%K it List- (shhh! don't tell any Mexican's I wrote that LOL)
@clnmike- I thought about doing that, but the guilt of adding to the garbage problem in NYC would kill me :(
Listen, I don't even have kids and I feel like I need a nanny. As it is I have to admit I do the bougie thing and pay someone to come clean once every other week. Best $50 I spend all month.
If that's being wrong, then who needs to be right?
@wendy- what's her number and does she travel to brooklyn? I'll give up whatever I have to to pay someone to come every other week and clean my tiny apartment.
I have a wife. His name is Gary.
LOL!
@irene- see...uh-uh! That's just COLD! (but quietly, I used to have a wife named C. LOL)
single mom's unite
that kitchen (the before pic) looks way too similar to mine.
lmao.
u put in WORK to clean that up.
i do hope u find a wife 2 party with.
see if she has a sister that'll marry me.
i'm so over being domestic
-1-
unfortunately no solutions from me. I guess you have to wait until they start making robot maids, huh?>
i am so glad for my wife
Yo!
I
GASPED at that first picture, you win, cause a mofocker blinked like crazy
I am single and live alone...and my sink usually looks like that. Why is it I need to get a new glass everytime I am thirsty. I always end up with something like 15 glasses in my sink.
@-1- Cathi only has a brother and he's already married. sorry! LOL
@brother omi- I'd rather clean it myself than get a robot... me and robots are NOT friends! I saw Terminator...
ask your wife if she freelances LOL
@qucifer- I'm just glad my mom doesn't read this blog! she'd be like: Pero Raquel! Que'eso!!
@blah blah blah- my only saving grace is that when I was unpacking, my mother was very smart and only left SERVICE FOR FOUR available in my cabinets:
4 sets of silverware, 4 tall glasses, 4 short glasses and 4 each of the plates and bowls. If I had them all out the sink would have looked WORSE!
Of course I will. Packing my bags as I type. It will be a life time of happiness.
@cathi- YAY!!!
I'm cleaning out some space in my closet LMAO!!!!
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