Sometimes I just can't deal with people.
I'm not sure if it's directly correlated with Lady Estrogen or not, but there are times, more often than not, when I will hole up in my apartment and refuse to leave, because just the thought of seeing people makes my head hurt.
The small talk, the phony laugh, "oh really? that's funny, ha ha ha" [insert smiley with a gun pointed at its own head] I just can't deal.
Late last night I contemplated, for a minute, going out again, meeting Lani at that hip hop party in the Slope because my cramps had let up for like two seconds so I had a window of opportunity for fun.
But as I got up off the couch, I had this recurring thought: I'm just not in the mood for new people tonight. That ever happen to you?
It's like, I'm sick of my own story already, and the thought of having to go through the motions with a new person is just too much.
"Hi, I'm Raquel."
"Yeah, I'm a writer."
"At a PR firm."
"I've published some articles here and there."
"Yeah, I like it."
"No, I live with my two daughters."
"I'm divorced."
"I live in Greenwood, you know, over by the cemetery."
"No, it's not scary. It's nice, kinda quiet"
"I'm from Brooklyn."
"Oh, you mean my background? My parents are Dominican."
"Really? I hear that a lot."
That's the honest-to-god script. People never have any new questions and I'm too lazy to give new answers. I'm bored, I tell ya, BORED out of my skull with this "dance of the new people" and I haven't got the attention span or patience for it.
So I stayed in last night, missing a pretty good party and an even better opportunity to come out my face and tell a certain someone off (I haven't done that in a hot minute!), but just the thought of new people... yeah, I just am NOT in the mood.
However, after I got halfway through Season 3 of The Facts of Life, I sat and wrote a new script for myself, to keep things fresh and properly alienate new people once and for all:
"Hi, I'm Altagracia Isabel."
"Yeah, I'm a circus performer."
"With Fuerza Bruta."
"I've done Ringling Brothers and stuff."
"Yeah, I like it."
"No, I live with two panthers and a hyena."
"They get along, though. We all do."
"You've never experienced an orgasm until you've tried a female hyena..."
"I live in Hunts Point, you know, over by the hookers."
"No, it's not scary. It's nice, the hookers are cool"
"I'm from Oslo."
"Oh, you mean my background? My parents are Vietnamese and Costa Rican."
"Really? OK, well take care then."
That's should keep them away...
*smooches...taking anti-social-ness to new levels*
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plus I just got discs 1-3 of the Second Season of Soul Food... I'm too busy to meet new people...
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Title courtesy of Edie Brickell, "Circle"
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10 comments:
LMAO!!! You are stoooooooopid!!! I love it!
Honestly, I had the same feeling about a month ago. I just didn't feel like leaving the house or talking to anybody. I turned the phone off. Got away from the computer and I watched dvds all day long. And I felt soooo much better at the end of the day.
btw...you might wanna use some of those answers JUST to get a rise out of people.
good post!
Truth me told, I haven't left the house all weekend. Well, that's a lie - because I did go get the mail. But people annoy the hell out of me too at times (usually between dawn ad dusk) and so I can completely understand. Except for the cramp thing - sorry. But I can sympathize!
I agree - great post. But why does kyle think you're kidding about the hyena? Tell Kimbu I said hello.
Your Blog is good... A kiss from Madrid (Spain)
@12kyle- good, I'm not alone! Sometimes I just feel like I should be in a movie called "Grumpy Old Bitches"
I might just use some of those lines and report back.
@jack- Kimbu says 'sup, and wants to know when you're coming through again *wink wink*
@francisco- bienvenidos y gracias por el beso
i love the fact that a spainard is reading ur blog...smirking in my annoying little sis way! And Amen to this entire blog. I feel the same way which is why i surround myself with people that know me so i dont have to go thru the same blah blah empty convo with people that really don't wanna get to know you...
preach on sis...preach on
~Princess of Pajama Weekend~
LOL
Don't know how much you believe in astrology or not, but I think it's a Gemini trait. Cuz I get that way too, and so do almost every Gemini girl or guy I've met.
Maybe because we're supposed to be "the communicators" that whole everyday ingenuione bullshit sometimes just feels overwhelming.
ahh then you need to be around me...
"Dan Tres Omi, that's me..."
"what I do? the question you should ask is what I don't do...."
"Married?... of course I am. you wouldn't think that I would be single. There are quite a few women out there who would kill for his brother..."
"This scar? oh, you should see the other guy..."
"Oh, i have to introduce you to sweet baby jesus. no not the white guy... "
"Jedi? of course I'm a Jedi. me be this cool and not a Jedi..."
"Yes, I am 35 and I STILL b-boy...."
ironically half this stuff is true..
and my wife is embarrassed to go out with me.
UGHH I don't blame you, minus a few reponses I use that script and I hate it, in fact my latest bitch refers to the fact that i used to come early to my job to not deal with the gaggle of chickens in there but lately this coven of estrogen and misery feel like being extra fucking chirpy and talkative in the morning, and they moved two of those talky bitches to the back where I used to happily sit, being rude to my boss listening to music all day and watching porn with abandon... I fucking hate these talky-bitches talking to me when I clearly am playing music and shit
I also don't much care for kids unrelated to me
Ugly men
Short men
Men that I see in the courthouse
Cats
Squirrels
Unkempt people
Our clients
etc etc etc
@mari- you truly are the Princess of Pajama Weekend! That is absolutely YOUR crown!! lol
@pan- I don't really follow it, but I've looked up my sign and find that, yes, I do exhibit many of the traits listed. However, I'm on the cusp of Taurus and Gemini, and I was a late baby so sometimes I'm a Taurus, and sometimes I'm a Gemini.
@bother omi- dique "...of course I'm a Jedi..." you are TOO crazy!!
@qucifer- sounds like you need one of those plastic bubbles I sometimes wish I can hide away in- where no one can bother me even when out in public! I'll get to work on inventing it post-haste!! LOL
lmao.
without fail u keep me l'ing out l
i think the new script might just do the trick.
either that, or cause u to make friends with some crazies
and we all know how u feel about crazies.
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