"It's A Celebration, Bitches!"

So much fun packed into such a tiny vacation... I might have to do this in three parts. I'll see how I feel as I type on...

So FRIDAY I met up with Lani at Diablo Royale over at the "nexus of the universe"

(it was on the corner of W4th and W10th, and when I saw the address I was like, "How is that even POSSIBLE for those two streets to intersect when one comes after the other?" you know how? Because Lower Manhattan was designed to confuse the HELL out of people. I'm sure of it. Check the fine print of the city planning blueprints from back in the day. I bet it says, "Watch me confuse these muthafuckas...")

where we loaded up on Mexican food spicy enough to paralyze my taste buds, not to mention the spicy mango margarita I had. Tasty, but damn was my tongue on fire!

And as a side note, please let me make this public service announcement:

Dear moms of young, impressionable babies,

If you do not want to subject your child to my and Lani's conversation about how funny it would be to add "necrophilia" and "S&M" as an interest on one's resume, then, you know what? Save your little attitude and side eyes and shit and DON'T BRING YOUR FUCKING BABY TO A FUCKING BAR!!!

Love Always,
The Jaded NYer

After the Mexican joint we walked over to the LES, saw this weird, out of place, building:



Of course it must be owned, operated and occupied by some crazy ass Dominicans *sigh* because WHO ELSE would bring such atrocities to Manhattan??

Then we found some random bar with WiFi so that Lani could try and figure out which one of her new beaus she'd been texting all evening, and who was due to meet up with us at any minute. Yeah, beaus with an "s". She got it like that.



Before the bar, though, we passed by this graffiti-ed wall, and I just HAD to do the "jail pose"



Don't act like I'm the ONLY ONE who has/had family and friends incarcerated... like you're not familiar with the jail pose... don't EVEN...

When we finally met up with the beau (after he took three years to get there) we moved on to another bar: Lava Gina. I'm gonna let the name of the bar marinate in your brain for a minute...

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Got it? Cool. Let's move on.

Now, about the dude... I guess I'll be nice because in my drunken state I gave him the address to my blog. I'll just post his pic and let you draw your own conclusions:



He was hella cool, though. Not intimidated at all by my and Lani's brand of crazy. Anyone who can keep up with us is okay in my book, even though he refused to do shots with us (THUMBS DOWN!!)

Lava Gina was nice- I had fun. They played world music, MY FAVORITE, so of course I was grooving in my seat (yes in my seat; I don't always have to shake my ass wherever I go), making a mental note to come back real soon! Not too crowded, drinks not too pricey, AND the owner played this video on the wall:



I was instantly hooked and just HAD to look them up on YouTube; they're my new favorite. I'm practicing those dance moves for my party on Saturday; that alone should make you all want to show up at Moe's next week LOL!!!

Before I left the bar OF COURSE I had to buy this shirt:



A birthday gift for myself. The icing on the cake? This photocopy pasted all over a wall out on the street:



HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!! Beware the LES PERVERT!! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!! You gotta love New York! Only here can you post some dude's face all over a wall and really make some one's (mine's!) day!!! LMAO!!!!

And of course, no evening is complete without the after-alcohol snack fest:



Quesadillas and fries at 7A at like 2AM. Life is good...

On our way home, I decided that I wouldn't sleep- just stay up until it was time to catch the van from Washington Heights to Lawrence at 7AM. You know, just sleep in the car and be all refreshed for when I get there.

But when I got home, I thought, "One lil nap can't hurt... I'll set my alarm for an hour and a half from now."

Famous Last Words...

*smooches...ending the story here for dramatic purposes*
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tomorrow: part2- "The Jaded NYer Misses Her Ride To Massachusetts... TWICE"

on another note... I missed you all! I had a fun time away from my computer but I totally missed my cyber peoples!!! Is that sad??