Friday, May 16, 2008

Seven Days And Counting: Tagged Again!

Dominicano extraordinaire, Brother Omi, tagged me, and only because I feel like we're compadres (really- that Island is so small it's quite possible that somewhere down the line we could be related) will I comply. Except I won't tag anyone, lest I be tagged again :)

So... y'all know the rules... six quirks. I think last time I did six FACTS instead, you know because I'm a rebel like that, but this time I'll play by the rules:



Six Things About Me That Will Make You Want To Call Bellvue On My Behalf:

1- When I eat, I need to have on my plate, something hot, something cold, something bland, something spicy and/or salty, something soft and something crunchy. If all of those criteria aren't met, I feel like I haven't eaten anything. A sample meal would be something like rice (bland, hot, soft), turkey chili (salty, spicy, hot), cole slaw w/out mayo (cold, crunchy) and avacado slices (bland, soft). Damn, now I'm hungry.

2- I adjust my accent/way of speaking depending on who's talking to me. It's kinda weird! I'm like a speech chameleon... like, I'll have a Southern drawl or a West Indian accent, and then of course at home it's straight Spanglish, and at work I have my "white voice"... although lately, since I've moved back to Brooklyn, I noticed it's been more ghetto than not!

3- As a kid, I assigned genders to each letter of the alphabet and each number as such:

FEMALES: A,B,D,K,P,R,S,V,X,Y,Z & 2,4,6,7,8
MALES: C,E,F,G,H,I,J,L,M,N,O,T,U,W & 0,1,3,5,9

We had those letter and number refrigerator magnets, (remember those?) and I'd play with them as if they were dolls or characters (no pun intended)... if I recall correctly, S and T were related, 5 was a casanova, and Z was a nun... don't ask...

4- NO ONE IS ALLOWED TO TOUCH ME BELOW MY CALF- NO EXCEPTIONS. It was hella hard to get a tattoo on my lower leg because of it; it was even harder to get that pedicure with Irene last year, too. I have an aversion to being touched, period, but especially there... as a kid I had crazy skinny legs, and my ankles were like non-existent. One day I looked in the mirror and thought to myself: Oh my god... my ankles are too skinny! How are they even holding me up? They're gonna snap!! As irrational as that may sound, I can't get that thought out of my head, so touching my lower leg is like nails on a chalkboard to me, and WILL earn you a right hook to the jaw!

5- As I type, if I make a mistake, I have to erase everything that came after the mistake and start over, even if it means going back to the beginning of a paragraph. I cannot physically bring myself to let a typo go, and LORD NO I cannot drag the cursor to the error, fix it, and pick up where I left off- that's blasphamous!!! It's like, if I erase everything that happened after the mistake PLUS the mistake, then it never happened and I can still believe myself to be perfect. CONFESSION: because of this, sometimes it takes me at minimum two hours to write even the tiniest of blog posts.

6- The last thing I drink everyday has to be water... I don't like to have the lingering flavors of whatever I just ate or drank in my mouth- it drives me insane. So I'll chase a candy bar with water, a glass of orange juice with water, anything; it must have a water chaser!

So there you go, 6 quirks. Make sure you took good notes; this will be on the final...

*smooches...pretty sure my crazy beats your crazy any day of the week*
------------
what you gotta say about that? huh?

14 comments:

JACK said...

Number 1: I'm a big fan of texture in my food. Like, doritos in my ham and cheese sandwich, but only between the cheese and the bread. It tastes weird if it's between the ham and the bread.

Numer 2: Me too - totally with you on that one.

Number 3: Is it weird that I followed my momogram and favorite number on your chart. The only male was my surname. I blame my dad.

Number 4: I swear it to you - I had the same thought when I was a kid - about my ankles. Like, how are they holding me up! And when I became a big fat bastard, it was worse!

Number 5: Again - ME TOO!!!!!!!

Number 6: We part ways here - I could totally smoke three cigarettes and head to bed, and burp out the last bit of smoke right before I drift off to sweet sleep.

So, number 6 six apparently put you over the top. Cuz I'm fine.

Blah Blah Blah said...

...ok..well not as bad as going through the whole damn alphabet or numerical system...but...in my mind...
4 has always been closer to 7 than any other number.
Not sure..please...don't ask.

eclectik said...

LOL! Love it!

I feel okay about me...or atleast better :)

e/

12kyle said...

I feel you on the touching below the calf. I am EXTREMELY tickelish. If you touch my feet, you will prolly get kicked. Not on purpose, tho. Lol

The Jaded NYer said...

@jack- awww...soultwins...

@blah blah blah- far be it from me to judge; I had the whole Alphabet assigned with gender and personalities, etc...

@e- wow. thanks. I feel sooooo much better now. lol

@12kyle- *takes notes on how to blackmail Kyle*

Ticklish? really? Interesting...

Anonymous said...

Number 6 is me all over, i can't even just have drinks without a side bottle of water< i can't just eat food and soda, i need water water water

Don said...

West Indian accent love this sound on a female. very sexy.


you actually start over from the beginning of the paragraph. now THAT sounds like a writer who is very passionate about her writing. i could stand to learn from you. it only takes me about 15-20 minutes to write a blog post. that's sad aint it. lol.



i definitely agree @ water having to be the last liquid of the day.

All-Mi-T [Thought Crime] Rawdawgbuffalo said...

just dont tag me pls

and

no exceptions???

The Jaded NYer said...

@qucifer- yup; I think we alone keep Poland Spring in business LOL

@don- into accents, I see... Ah sey one, as the Jamaicans say...

re: my writing- dude, that's not passion, that's insanity! But if you need a mentor, you know I am THE MASTER OF FINE ARTS. Just sayin...

@torrance- nah, man I ain't taggin people, don't worry.

and no, no exceptions; I mean, I suppose I've overlooked it in "situations" where I was otherwise occupied, but I don't talk about such things in a public forum. It would make baby Jesus cry.

Don said...

@ jaded nyer: i will hold you to that. just wanted to stop by again before the workday ends, and let you know i will read and have a full report on your desk monday morning, bright and early.

lol @ showin' their ass on my site

Eb the Celeb said...

thx 4 the bday wishes!

Unknown said...

we might be related, i did the same thing with numbers and letters as well. just can't remember what was assigned to whom...

Anonymous said...

#3 is called Synesthesia

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Synesthesia

The Jaded NYer said...

@don- I don't accept late papers, FYI

@eb- you're so welcome!!

@brother omi- lol

@anonymous- OOH! I have a "condition"- NICE!!!