So... my Papi's wife died on Thursday; the Big C took her out. I never met her, spoke to her maybe three times the whole of her marriage to Papi, and, in the beginning, even hated on the fact that she was in Grandma's house siting on Grandma's sofa sleeping on Grandma's bed with Grandma's man. But after a bit it was like, "Okay, I suppose he deserves to be happy..."
But how is this better- surviving TWO marriages? How much more can this man take?
And how helpless are we, not knowing what to do or say to make it right?
Death scares me straight, man, I'll tell you what... it also makes me feel like all the bullshit I complain about on here- money, men, computers, kids- don't amount to a hill o' beans and I should just shut the fuck up, because right now, someone just lost his wife, and another just lost his mother, and that little girl that my daughters both agreed, after their trip to DR, was the most annoying little girl they'd ever met EVER, just lost her grandma. And I *do* know what that feels like. I'm lucky to have had mine for as long as I did.
Death just puts everything in perspective: aw man, I paid twice for this bus ride by mistake (whatever, you could be dead right now); dammit- I'm out of olive oil (you could be out of breath, so stop complaining); why is this internet connection so freakin slow (do you know you could just drop dead right now?)... just... just appreciate what you have, man, cause who knows what tomorrow brings...
So, no more woe is me-isms... I gotta step it up and get my shit together, because I have to help the family take care of Papi, point blank, no bullshit, no playing around anymore!
*smooches... trying to be a grown-up for once*
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this circle of life bullshit is for the birds!!
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9 comments:
prayers and cyber hugs to your papi.
sigh
sucks that things like this put stuff into perspective.
but then again, at least now things are becoming more clear.
blessings and awakenings come in many (painful) forms.
duh, right?
-1-
Wow, your site is great - lots of good reading. I'll have to read back a bit. Sorry about the latest news though. But I do love your attitude. Life is good, even when the olive oil is low. Good mantra...
PS - 33!? Yer still a young pup!!
You have no idea how much this post helped me right now. I just got off the phone with the stupid car dealership who promised to check and fix my brakes when I bought the car and who now is saying that they never said that ... and I've been getting the run around since Thursday and my car still has the damn shakes and I'm really annoyed.
To boot, I just spent the afternoon with my kids having a great 'ole time at the carnival at my daughter's school to come home to the kids arguing over who owns what toys we got a the carnival and muttering at each other under their breaths and all the while I'm on the phone with the car dealership, sending them both to their rooms ... and I'm so pissed off, and I come to read this.
Damn you, voice of reason!!!!
Amazingly enough, while I'm reading this realizing that my equivalent situation to having paid for one bus ride twice is only just that ... my son comes in and says he will share with his sister, agrees to apologize to her, they apologize to each other, hug each other and now they're sharing and playing gleefully ...
Fine, Papi! I'll pay for my own brake job and STFU.
*ehugs and econdolences to Papi*
i feel you
i came to grips with my mortality at age 12 (probably the reason why I am not a Xian at age 35). It was one of the scariest times of my life. I knew someone who died in a car accident. it blew my mind. then I watched that old Nuclear War movie "The Day After" and I was shooked. Every time I heard
a train come by I swore it was nuclear missiles. For almost a year I could not sleep and begged to sleep with my mother.
I will say despite the nightmares and ass beatings, it was an eye opener. My wife gets mad, so mad she screams, at my optimism. So that one year of madness was worth it.
life is promised to none of us. we assume that we'll be here. we assume that our family and friends will be here as well.
"there are two numbers that we'll forever be remembered by...the date of our birth and the date of our death. the thing that separates us and defines us is what we did while we were here. it's represented by the dash in between the numbers."
i heard that at my uncle's funeral 3 yrs ago.
condolences to you and your fam, Jaded NYer
my condolendences hon
sometimes it takes tragedy for us to appreciate how truly blessed we are
aint that the truth...
sorry about the loss...
but i love your post. we should be gratful for what we have...it could always be worse
everyone- thanks for the well wishes and words of wisdom; I feel like *my* prayers fall on deaf ears because I'm such a heathen, but if y'all believers keep my Papi in your prayers then I'll know he'll be alright.
*besos*
R
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