Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Reason #79,530 Why I'm Going To Hell

Recent text conversation:

ME: (responding to a particularly naughty text message) There you go again! You need Jesus...

HIM: Me? Lol. I didn't see your face on the picture of The Last Supper either...

ME: I was in the kitchen getting more bread... who you think cooked that shit? I didn't see J-Money up in there slaving over a hot stove!

HIM: No comment. Lol. That is blasphemy. *enters into priest booth* Father I ask that you forgive her for the J-Money reference.

ME: Lol! You know that shit was funny.

HIM: *traces outline of a cross in front of my face and chest*

ME: God can't help you now, I've got plans for your soul...


***********

Mari has N for the week down in DC, and she let me know that my baby is obsessed with the Olympics. But apparently N is annoyed that the U.S. men keep winning gold medals and not the women.

So then I get this email from Mari that quoted my little schmuckin-face as saying:

"I wish I could swim so I could go to the Olympics"


followed by the Jaded-esque comment

"But what if I got to the Olympics and finished last like that guy...Oh boy, Katie Hoff is swimming, I bet we are gonna get SECOND place"

Why am I BEYOND proud right now?

*smooches... with just the tiniest dash of MUAHAHAHAHA*
-----------
sometimes I sit back and take in some of the shit I say and approve of and wonder what number SPF I should take with me to the afterlife...

and yes, Mari, I jacked your WHOLE email for my blog. and what? lol

14 comments:

JACK said...

Re: last supper - my alcoholic aunt says that Judas' response to J-Money's "before the cock crows you will deny me three times" comment to Peter was, "I don't know why the hell he drinks ..."

Re: the HIM crossing himself. Yuh - plant your ass in 1C and enjoy the flight.

Dave Van Buren said...

lmao@ J-Money. That's how I referring to the big guy from now on.

I'm secretly addicted to female gymnastics in particular the uneven bars. ssshhhh... don't tell anyone

12kyle said...

lmao @ j money

aka
jc

aka
j love

aka
j boogie

The Jaded NYer said...

@jack- I *heart* your aunt!

and BTW, the whole first and second row on that fight is booked. HIM gonna have to get HIS own travel agent... LOL!

@super dave- I'm not even gonna say nuthin'...

@12kyle- see! you always taking it too far

*steps away from 12kyle to avoid the lightening*

Marielys said...

Oh no you didn't! Straight thievery! UGHH!

The Jaded NYer said...

@mari- MHMM... and what?!?!

dessex said...

oh my goodness that was funny.....U was gettin some bread lol

The Jaded NYer said...

@dessex- and I told them fools I was coming RIGHT BACK but noooooo... they went ahead and took the picture without me... rat bastards...

Anonymous said...

I'ma save you some seat in hell's VIP room

nikki said...

j-money? i wonder if he got betta flow than jay-z. he CAN change water to wine...

Eb the Celeb said...

kinky texts are the best...hehehehe

mad at the title of the post though... I'm glad I havent taken the time to count the reason why I may be going because I am keeping hope alive

The F_Uitlist said...

I'm mad you were in the kitchen getting bread AHAHA.

I'm riding first class to the underworld. There's just no way I can go economy hahah.

i.can't.complain. said...

i don't think he'd mind being referred to as J-money

u gotta stay with it and relevant

even if u are the Almighty

-1-

dejanae said...

now where exactly were u bakin this bread at cuz i was in that kitchen slavin over that matza and aint seen ur ass

haha
u gon have problems with that child when she gets older
dont get mad
she got it from u