Tuesday, September 02, 2008

It's A Conspiracy, So I Officially Give Up

Sooooo... last time I had that neuro appointment from hell, the wack-ass doctor gave me a prescription for a muscle relaxer and a referral to a physical therapist for the tightness in my neck which he suspected was causing my headaches. Plus he wanted me to come back to test the muscles in my legs with those stupid electrodes as he had done in my arm.

Well I cancelled that leg muscle shit because frankly, I didn't feel like doing it. And do you know this fool caught and ATTITUDE with me? Excuse me, you limey bastard, but I don't have to come see you if I don't want to, so please do me a supreme favor and chill the fuck out!

But I had to admit, my head was still a bit achy and I did feel stiffness in my neck and shoulders, so I decided to make the appointment for the physical therapist and fill the Rx.

DO YOU KNOW that that fakakte physical therapist would not see me that day because he couldn't reach anyone at Blue Cross/Blue Shield to verify my coverage???? So I basically sat in that waiting room filling out 3 trillion forms for him to send me on my way pending verification of my medical coverage.

And then the next day called me to say that he did finally reach someone but he does not deal with the HMO so he cannot see me unless I pay out of pocket. WORD?!?! Guess who told him to fuck off? That's right- ME!

So I was like, FINE, I'll just get these damn muscle relaxers- even though I LOATHE to take pills- until I can make the time to go to a spa on the regular (or get me a man) and release the tension in my neck and shoulders.

The first pharmacy I went to acted like it would be ready in 45 minutes, but when I came back for it they were like, "Oh, no, sorry. We don't have any. We'd have to order it." So I snatched the Rx from her hands and informed her that I'd just go elsewhere.

The second pharmacy informed me, after me having to wait another 25 minutes, that my insurance did not cover that specific drug. And did I want the Rx back. FOR WHAT? TO WIPE MY ASS WITH IT? Because that's all it was good for at this point!

I GIVE UP!!!!

I will never find a physician or specialist or ANY medical professional for that matter, who knows what the fuck he/she is doing and treats me with respect. So the fuck what you went to medical school. AND? Your time is more precious than mine? I have to sit here and take your condescending bullshit because it says "M.D." after your name? Nuh-uh, asshole... you and your buddies can all go SUCK IT, because The Jaded NYer- no fuck that: RAQUEL I. PENZO is done with the whole lot of you.

Here is the message I left for that neuro on Friday, after I stormed out of the Walgreen's:

Hi, this is Raquel Penzo. I have a follow-up appointment with Dr. Willer on September 2nd, but I'm calling to cancel because 1- I never got to see the physical therapist he sent me to on account of him not being covered by my insurance and no. 2, the pharmacy informed me that the meds he prescribed to me were also not covered by my insurance. And frankly, I'm not paying out of pocket for something I never wanted in the first place. So as you can see, there is nothing to follow up on. Unless this is absolutely mandatory, Dr. Willer will NOT be seeing me on Tuesday.

Did that sound stank enough?

I sure hope so...

*smooches...resolved to use Vick's vapor rub for all my ailment from here on out*
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I am too through with doctors. And don't even get me started on the idiots at the pediatrician's office who called to complain about a claim that was denied for K in June. If it happened in June, why are you just calling me NOW about it, as if I'm some sort of delinquent? Bitch, don't call here no more...

15 comments:

clnmike said...

Damn, you need to book a flight to Canada or Cuba to get some real medical attention.

Don said...

Looks like they tried to pull a fast one on Raquel I. Penzo (the I standing for '...I can't eat a cheeseburger cause you mofo's are outta cheese???).

Vick's vapor rub to the rescue. Hmm, I'm willing to bet that Vick's and Robitussin would run alot of doctors out of business, don't you think?

Me neither.

Tension, huh?

Bangs and a Bun said...

Girl - you know I don't trust doctors one bit, so I don't bloody blame you for giving up. Maybe try some natural therapies? Though I don't that's covered by insurance. I don't know how you Americans do it, seriously. Growing up in England and now living in Canada - I like my medical shit FREE, thank you!

Eb the Celeb said...

ha... why do we use vicks for everything


girl get you some icyhot... and a massager from brookstone... and you'll be alright

The Jaded NYer said...

@clnmike- I think I'm going to go to DR; my mom told me their medical center in Santo Domingo was 10X better and more thorough and efficient than any she's been to in NYC. Now how crazy is that? PLUS it was cheaper, too!

@don- don't hate on vick's; that stuff works on whatever ails you... trust!

@bangs and a bun- I'm so jealous of the free medical coverage y'all have... why is America so freakin backwards when it comes to that???

@eb- I might have to do just that... except I don't want to buy the massager that will have people giving me the eye. You know the one I mean... LOL!!

Judy D. said...

i think that u should research natural muscle relaxers, and see how that works for you... Chamomile is good for headaches, with anise too... research!!!

sometimes our bodies react to certain foods or whatever we are ingesting... there are alternatives... everything happens for a reason, maybe the universe is pulling you elsewhere...

hope you find an answer pain-free.

The Jaded NYer said...

@judy- you're right. my grandmother always had these home remedies for us and they always worked. I need to stop being so American in my approach to being sick and get back to my roots!

Thanks for the reminder

JACK said...

Wait, wait, wait - I have plenty of muscle relaxers specific to the neck area. I will send you some. (Will the post office have a problem with this?)

Seriously, I have some. My doctor loooovvvvveeeessss me.

I also have these ot ... um, never mind.

Dave Van Buren said...

just take a multi-vitamin and walk it off... lol

No really I hope you feel better.

Anonymous said...

You are contributing to the niggafication of this country, ya know.

BWAHAHAHAHA!

Sorry. I just had to use my new fravorite word.

JACK said...

Irene: hush.

-JACK

The F_Uitlist said...

Girl you need to go to chinatown get some herbs and see the accu-puncture guys. These dr just want to rack up bills to the health insurance companies.

And niggafication, I don't think I like that new word at ALL.

The Jaded NYer said...

@jack- STOP tryna send me your contraband! LOL

@super dave- sheesh... talk about terrible bedside manner... ;)

@irene- *whispering* I suspect that maybe it was too soon to bring out that word... LMAO!!!

@the f$%k it list- yes, I think homeopathic medicine will have to be my new course of action, whatever the cost, because Western meds have proven to do diddly squat for me!

n0days0ff said...

oh hell no.if theres something i cant stand it is my precious time being wasted

Amber "Bam" Cabral said...

Po Chile.

Listen... I work for BCN, Blue Cross' HMO in Michigan. If you really need some help, (which it sounds like you do, but your uber frustrated), I will act as your personal customer service representative for a limited time and at least get you to where you aren't in pain.

Shit living in NY is a damn pain enough I can imagine.

I shot you an email with my number.
Use it if you wish and I hope you feel better soon either way.