JOSIE RETIRED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am in mourning. Inconsolable. Actually crying at my desk this very minute, and if you think I'm joking then you don't know me very well.

Josie, my hairstylist for the past ten years, retired. As in she's not doing hair anymore. At all.

What the fuck am I supposed to do?

And before you start with the "find someone else" bullshit... DON'T!

When Mami first told me to go to Josie to get my hair done for my cousin Maribel's wedding, Josie took one look at my chin length and damaged hair and asked, "Why do you get your hair chemically relaxed?" My response was, "I just always have." And she said, "Well, keep coming to me and I'll show you that you don't need it, just a shampoo and a deep conditioner. You'll see."

Ten years later... well, you've seen my hair- it's long and healthy and beautiful and chemical free since 1998, all because Josie cared more about the health and beauty of my hair than she did about charging me for an expensive and unnecessary treatment. I got my hair done for less than $30 every time (not including costs for the dye jobs, of course). EVERY time, even when the economy was ass.

After that first visit, no matter how far away I lived from her salon (which was located in The Heights, of course, by the GW Bridge) and despite the fact that going to Josie meant I'd be in the salon for a minimum of FIVE HOURS, I went to see her every 4 to 6 months for a deep conditioning, color, trim, whatever... she always advised me on great styles and products and colors that matched my lifestyle and skin tone and hair texture... she actually cared, you know what I mean? oh my god, I can't stop crying... what am I going to do now?

The woman who answered the phone was all like, "Maria is still here, and Rita and BLAH BLAH BLAH" LIKE I CARE!!! None of them could tame my hair like Josie. NONE OF THEM. Maria maybe, but she's told me in the past- she doesn't like dealing with natural hair and prefers to deal with relaxed hair. Plus she likes to overcharge for shit (right, Minnie?!?!). I can't trust her to care for my hair like Josie did.

And I just know that other Dominican salons are not going to want to deal with my hair without a relaxer, and I know this because the few times I've had to see a different stylist, they all complain about "how much" hair I have and that it would take less time to style it if it was relaxed. You know how Dominican women can be sometimes... And Black salons don't use rolos and like to use hot irons and hair grease and the such on my hair, which Josie always advised against.

I'm seriously in a funk right now and the tears won't stop. I'm distraught. My appetite is even gone, that's how depressed I am. Meanwhile, I'm in desperate need of a deep conditioning, color and trim because this red coloring is seriously growing out and my roots are out of control and I wanted to go back to my natural dark brown.

I'm just... ugh... what am I going to do now???

*no smooches...because my hair will never be the same again"
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I feel like a family member died... I can't even think straight...