Tuesday, January 27, 2009

New Crush Alert: CNN Hotties Don Lemon & TJ Holmes

But first, it's Tuesday, so you know I have to remind you to check out the podcast of my show from last night: Artist Spotlight w/LeVar Thomas on Monday Musings. Take a listen; he's a talented cat, for real!

And now... the post...

I'm sitting in the airport in Chicago, poisoning my body with w 3 piece chicken strip meal from McDonald's, waiting to get home from Vegas, and I happen to look up at the TV screen... guess what I saw?

This elegant hunky-hunk right here:



Um, HELLO?!?! Why didn't anybody TELL me CNN had cuties with brains? I would've been watching the news like a crack fiend every-freakin-day! I don't even usually go for the nerdy, Carlton Banks types, but something about the way he looks in the camera makes me thinks he's a bit of a freak in the bedroom... just my type!

So I'm telling Mari about Don and then she's like, "NO; you have to see the other dude." You know who? THIS dude:



HOTCHIE MAMA!!!

YEOWZA!!!

Ask Mari- I actually lost my ability to form complete sentences at that point.

I mean, I need a job at CNN, like right now. Can you imagine the naughty-hot-times I can have behind the news desk with these two Hottie McHottertons?

And I know some of you heifers reading this knew of both of them and have been holding out... I see you... it's like that, huh? Just gonna hide the sexy dudes from your girl... I see how it is...

Now, when I saw Don on-screen at the airport there was no sound on the TV, so I wasn't able to drool over him 100%- I couldn't add him to my laminated list of dudes I'd have babies for without actually hearing him speak... it was the only way to get the full fantasy materialized in my brain. And same with TJ- the pics were hot, true, but I needed a voice.

So I went online, e-stalked and YouTubed them:





and now... mission accomplished... my imagination took off and it was hella sweet.

(queue music)



What happens next, unfortunately, I cannot share because as much shit as I like to talk on this site, you and I both know this is not THAT KIND of blog... you'll need to use your imagination (like I did) to think up some of the sweatiest, acrobatic and jungalistic, threesome activities ever, and then turn it up a notch, and that's what happened. Period.

And with that I had to bump Lenny Kravitz from the number 5 spot on my crush list since I already have a half-black, half-Jewish rocker with crazy hair on there who I've loved for longer (Slash), and had Mr. Lemon & Mr. Holmes share the spot. Welcome to my world, kind sirs; you're in good company...

*smooches...fanning myself, trying not to sweat my edges out*
----------
damn you, lemon! got me watching CNN n shit... ugh!

PS- Lenny, please don't be mad at me; you're in good company, too, on the alternates' list with Johnny Depp, Marcus Patrick, Jason Mamoa and Morris Chestnut. It's all good.

I'd also like to take a minute to induct Domenik Hixon, Troy Polamalu and Larry Fitzgerald to the list of athletes who make me moist. Yum, fellas, Y-U-M!!!

25 comments:

The Jaded NYer said...

And FYI- I almost posted a photoshopped pic of the three of us, um, err, together, but I figured ONE restraining order in my life is more than enough!!

LOL

clnmike said...

Glad you didnt post that pic, I would have clowned you for the rest of the week.

Anonymous said...

Not for nothing, but both of those dudes look like dorks. *sorry*

I doubt either of those brothers are going down any time soon.

Bwahahahahaha!

Ooops...

Brothers Blog said...

When were you here in Chicago?

And Don Lemon used to be on the news out here before going over to CNN.

I'd pay to see that pic. lol

The Jaded NYer said...

@clnmike- see it's readers like you that made me NOT post the pic!

@irene- they are not my usual type, but something about them... sigh

@brothers blog- I was just passing through on my way home from Vegas; never left the airport :D

and no... I can't release that photo into the blogosphere; I have babies! lol

Dave Van Buren said...

isn't there some kind of rule about black men with no facial hair? some of the women news are getting hotter and hotter.. lol

Gem said...

Don Lemon is a little too dorky for me...like William from Girlfrieds. TJ Holmes I have been staring at mesmerized for a while now.

Also, Lenny is in my bed right now and he said to tell you stop lying on him.

ALSO, Troy Polamalu is on my list as long as he doesn't talk. That voice...I can't.
ALSO ALSO his teammate Hines Ward is A-Ok with me.

In conclusion, I hate you for posting that Floetry video, lol.

JACK said...

Fortunately, JGC *is* that kind of blog! a ha! I had not idea either - I'm an MSNBC freak ... but that TJ ... I'll take him, you take that other dude ... TJ makes me forget him name. Whatever - him.

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Eb the Celeb said...

lmao... omg... i was dead at the say yes then I just read your 1st comment and I am floored... that was too funny... I but I feel ya... now the mission is to find out if they are based here or ATL... have you google'd then yet to see age, kids, significant others?

Rich Fitzgerald said...

That was one funny read. I see why you get paid to do what you do. Good stuff.

Tiffany S. Jones said...

Whoa, stop the presses! Slash is half black?! Damn! Where have I been?
Anyway, I would be one of those said heifers who knew about both of them. I thought everybody knew them, everybody who frequents CNN as much as I do anyway.
Here's a lil' tid bit for you, T.J. Holmes used to date Chilli from TLC, I'm not sure what (who) he's doing now.
As for the "Carlton Banks type dudes," they have always been my type. Something about a cute smart dude does something to me.
The jacked up part is they hardly like sports unless it's golf or running, not track, running.

and1grad said...

I think you've achieved Official "NILF Hunter" status. http://www.milkandcookies.com/link/62078/detail/

The Jaded NYer said...

@super dave- I have a feeling I don't want to know what "rule" you're talking about...

@gem- *sniffle* please tell Lenny I'm sorry!!!

And Hines Ward, you say?? *goes to google him*

@jack- there you go, always trying to push up on my dudes!!

@eb- I believe Don is in ATL but I haven't put together the full dossier on them yet. I need at least two more weeks.

and you know your comment is considered "aiding and abetting" right?? lol

@rich- I wish they'd pay me more, dammit!

@smarty jones- YES, girl Slash is bi-racial... what did you think was up with that hair?? lol His momma is Nigerian and his daddy is English. That's prob why I'm so hot for him!

LMAO @ dork dudes' sports preferences!! Girl that was too funny!!

And thanks for the info on my new beau; I'll add it to his file :D

and1grad said...

@Smarty Jones
"The jacked up part is they hardly like sports unless it's golf or running, not track, running."

That is REALLY funny given your handle.

The Jaded NYer said...

@and1grad- that clip... OMG... I'm done!

Tiffany S. Jones said...

@and1grad
I know, right? I'm tired of that damn horse too man! I had my name before anybody knew about him!
Seriously though, how many super smart dudes do you know who like actual contact sports?
When I asked my first love why he didn't play football in high school, his reply was, "I could have gotten hurt."
That was a lil' suspect to me.

The F_Uitlist said...

I can't believe you (and Jack) didnt know about these two. I look to both of you for the lusty Black men. I live for CNN and now you know why. You can follow Don on twitter.

and1grad said...

@Smarty
ha...I've never known a guy to offer that up as the reason why he didnt play football.

kit von b. said...

BOTH could get it, all day err day and thrice on sundays.

-kb

The Jaded NYer said...

@the f$%k it list- I've never been one to care about the news, esp TV news, so I never heard of them before. Now I'm all over it; even thinking about getting cable! lol

@karrie- I'm SAYIN... it's just unfair that I'm not working at CNN!

SLC said...

Hey Jaded!

I just heard of TJ Holmes...he's definitely a cutie...if I'm not mistaken, Don Lemon was an anchor in Chicago for NBC5...He just moved on about a year or two ago...

ShellyShell said...

Hmmmm. My friend works at CNN here I'll ask her a few questions for you! They are both cuties that could get it!