LORDY LORD LORD... did you catch the show last night? No? Well honey child HERE is the link to the show: Mars vs. Venus
And HERE is the link to the blog about the show: Mars vs. Venus Blog
Listen and then share... trust me, you need to listen. It was so crazy we never got through all the talk points, so you know what that means? PART TWO, this April, bitchezzzzzz!
And now on to our regularly scheduled post...
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This has been heavy on my mind since my Dating After Divorce segment with Cathi, and especially after last night's tomfoolery...
It has become quite evident that the reason I don't have a man and can't find a man is because... I don't want a man. At least not for a while. So forget this whole thing about me being open to the possibility of romance. I. Don't. Wanna.
(I know some of you were hoping that sentence would end with me in the middle of some torrid lesbian love affair... sorry, I left that mess back in '04...)
I don't want to put in any work on another new human right now; I have too many people to keep track of as it is. I don't want to compromise right now when I know I'm right at the threshold of my dream. I'm enjoying my me time and don't feel like sharing- point blank: I'm in Selfish Mode and I think I'm going to be here for a little bit.
I'm still dealing with learning to trust people, to like myself and to juggle the whole mom thing with the dating thing, because right now it's all just a mess in my brain.
Now I know my girlie parts are cursing me out as I type this but whatever- I'm the boss here. And besides, bitches already had enough fun to hold them over a good long while so they ALL need to shut the fuck up. Sex was fun and all, but I'm on hiatus.
When I think of a relationship these days, I actually feel suffocated. Like the dude is going to see this happy, carefree soul and think, "How can I tame her and keep her under my thumb?"
I enjoy coming and going whenever I feel like it. One day I'm in Massachusetts the next I could be in DC and then I could hop a flight to LA and not have to do anything more than make sure the babies are with their dad or my mom. Imagine if I had a man and wanted to hop around the globe like that- do you know anyone that would put up with that?
And frankly, I'm just not ready to be out there or in a relationship. I thought I had to be because, well, I don't know... I just did. But now I'm realizing that no, I don't. Of course I want companionship and all that- who doesn't? But when I actually try to imagine it I can taste a hint vomit in the back of my throat.
I think that's a sign.
But Cathi hit the nail on the head when she said to me: You need the male version of you. BINGO. I think that's exactly who I will be on the lookout for when I'm ready to get out there again.
A Jaded NYer with a penis and more testosterone than yours truly (at least I HOPE!). Imagine the possibilities...
Until then... I'm living the:
*smooches...really pleased with my decision*
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watch dudes come out the woodwork now that I've taken myself off the market... ain't that always the way?
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16 comments:
"You need the male version of you"
You think thats wise?
Some how I dont see yall stopping with the sly remarks long enough to get in bed with each other.
The show was great BTW.
Hey babe,
I am with you on the relationship thing. First I am very caught up in myself right now and second I am very specific about what I want in a man these days so most men - handsome or otherwise don't even get an ounce of consideration.
And yes darlin. I want a male version of me also. I mean core parts - we can differ on a few things here and there.
Maybe 2009 is the year of get shit done?
(Hence my resume prepping and preparations to relocate by the time the lease is up June 15 - no later than September 15.)
Time to get shit done.
Race you?
Heyyy... You updated the blog roll!
*checks elbows for ash...
Girl, I'm telling you...being in a relationship is stifling for girls like us. I thought I wanted to be married and yes, I have a great guy. But sadly I realized a little too late that enjoy the freedom of coming and going whenever I wanted without someone questioning my whereabouts all the time. That doesn't mean I have a bad marriage or that hubby is a jerk - it means that I am a bit too selfish to be married. It is nice to have companionship and someone in the bed next to you at night. But if I weren't married with a child, I have no idea where I would be right now...and that is what I miss.
And a male version of you? Shyeah right! You two would kill each other. LOL!
You must have been in my head lately. This is exactly the conclusion I came to. I went on a couple of dates with this guy and my stepdad starts asking when about the marriage and kids. Even though he claimed he was joking, I know my family isn't. I'm on the 40 side of 30, no kids and no man, and they seem to think something's wrong.
The day after that comment, I caught myself in the shower mumbling to myself ... "I don't wanna, I'm not ready, I don't wanna" ... and realized I don't hafta if I don't wannt.
I like being single (after over ten years in a relationship, it's a new concept), I like having the apartment to myself, I like coming and going when/if I want. Like you, every time I even think about a guy, I think about all the trouble and time wasted on them that I could spend on me. Ha ha!
Yahoo to singledom!
Thx so much for letting me get in on the action last night. It brought back all the joy I used to have when I did radio for those couple of years... I've set up a new profile and everything now.... maybe I might just do a once a month thing myself... I'm not driven enough to do it every week like you
and I agree with clnmike... a male version of you and ya'll are together may be a huge prob
@clnmike- WHAT? The male version of me would be AWESOME!! We'd have crazy, loud, jungalistic monkey sex EVERY NIGHT, dammit, fuck whatcha heard!! lol
(I'm glad you enjoyed the show)
@bam- sometimes one just needs to be a bit selfish, so yes, lets take this time and get shit done, figure some stuff out
LOL @ checking your elbows!! you're nuts!
@irene- yeah, I was figuring it was me. I'm just not in a relationshipy place right now, so why ruin some poor guys life just to say I have a man?
@kelly- we have a similar mentality here; I also survived a long-ass relationship that I jumped into practically right out of high school, so this independence I'm experiencing is still fresh. I like it.
@eb- just let me know when your show is on and I'll be there!
NOOOO, don't agree with clnmike!! A male version of me would be FIYAH! lol
The most wonderful two years of my life were following my divorce and my hiatus on dating. It was soooo lovely. Friday nights at home watching Sex and the City on DVD, wine tasting with my girlfriends, concentrating on my career, weekends in Vegas ... *sigh* the memories and the PEACE.
lmao.. you jinxed me before I even read your post. Your powers are growing.
I can't wait to see the male version of you. I think it will be like a comedy show.
But girl please enjoy your free time, and reaching for the stars. I don't think that being with the RIGHT man would stop that but when you are working on you, you can't work on US all the time.
So do you.
awesome show. some valid points where raised and 12kyle held it down. cant wait to be a part of it!
-kb
We had a great teim last night. Too bad my BATTERY died - lol. AND, I'mma have to call in even earlier next time.
I agree with clnmike
you might be right about not wanting a man right now. but heck, i don't want a female version of me
hell no!
LMAO @ your girlie parts cursing you out.
Nothing wrong with being single though. I've been for a long while and just got out of selfish mode. So 2009 is my year to get booed up. lol.
huh? what izzzz you talking about anyway? the first time i actually check this thing out and you talking bout ur girlie parts tinglin?!? wtf? lol...ur still aces in my book rock rock, n to think we hated each other. can't wait to get drunk again. yeah son!!
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