Things I Couldn't Tweet...

...because I was in church.

Yes, even I have some respect for the inner sanctum of the supposed house of the lord. Well, that, and I was afraid Mami would slap my phone out of my hand with just a stern glance if she even suspected I was Tweeting about the Easter service.

So these are mental notes that The Voices were kind enough to hold onto for me:

1- I think the woman at the end of my pew is speaking in tongues. Really? This is my life?

2- Look at that big ass hat. Damn! I know the dude sitting behind her is pisssssed!

3- I will never understand the meaning of these "dancers" up on "stage" during the service...

4- OOPS! Mami just busted me taking a nap... was I snoring?? How embarrassing!

5- So she wants money to help her feed some hungry kids overseas? Um, we got hungry kids right here, lady... NEGATIVE!

All in all the Easter service was rather painless, especially since I took that sweet-ass nap during the sermon *yawn* *stretch*

*smooches...taunting god since 1997*
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it's been over 10 years since I left the church and I'm still here to tell the tale.

damn it feels good to be a gangsta...