I interrupt my Earth Day post to bring you this very important message:
I am so tired of reading about ignorant shit from grown ass people who should know better. TIRED.
And I'm tired of stupid ass teenagers with no home training wrecking shit all over the place. TIRED.
I'm sayin... no more resting on your laurels. No more blaming your alcoholic mother or your absentee father or your molester uncle. DONE, you hear me?
And you can just forget about blaming THE MAN 'cause goddamn if the man don't (finally) look like me and you?!?!
So, by the power vested in me by the Borough of Brooklyn and the webmasters at Blogger, I hereby pronounce that:
1- You will STOP making up names for your babies. No more Ty'Queishiaas and no more Apples. STOP IT.
2- You will stop leaving your house in your jammies and slippers. Put some clothes on, for real. I love my jammies, too, but I know better (now) than to leave my house in them.
3- You will comb your hair. It is NOT acceptable to be out and about with your hair wrapped with all those damned pins in your head. And dudes... bed hair, really? That's the look you want to offer the world? WTF?
4- You will stop having unprotected sex. Enough already. It is 2009 and AIDS is still rampant... WHY???
5- You will stop flashing your goodies to the world and then demand to be respected. I'm sorry, but if you let the 'razzi get a crotch shot you lose all credibility in my book. There are ways to avoid that mess.
6- You will stop neglecting your kids. I'm busting my ass to make my kids productive, law-abiding citizens that contribute to society, and I'll be damned if they will be forced to carry your ne'er-do-well rugrats.
7- You will learn to carry yourselves like gentlemen & ladies goddammit! Men, open a freakin door from time to time; ladies, learn to keep your big ass mouth shut on occasion. It's the little niceties that make all the difference.
8- You will burn all your skinny jeans and leggins. Now. No questions asked just BURN THEM. And throw in those crocs and uggs, too.
9- You will stop trying to model your life after celebrities who don't have the sense god gave them. You will never be Beyonce and you will never be Sean Combs, and thank the lord for that. You are YOU. Be YOU.
10- You will stop spending all your money on bullshit. For real? Rims on a Maxima? Really? I'm too through!
People... we have to do better...
*smooches...hoping I've offended at least 5 people with this post*
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because you've all been offending me with these 10 infraction for YEARS. it's time someone told you off.
now, what are some things on your list which need to be added to this decree?
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11 comments:
I agree with everything here, but you know I gave you a standing ovation when it got to number 8. Preach girl, PREACH!
So, I shouldn't get spinners on my Saturn?
LOL!
How about - Stop hating on people who have more than you. If you want more, go get it. You ain't gettin nothing for free mofo.
@bangs and a bun- I thought of you when I wrote number 8, 'cause I know we see eye to eye on that mess!
@irene- LMAO @ spinners on your Saturn!!!!!!!! Girl that would be the funniest shit EVER!!!! HAHAHAHAHA
HA HAHAH. I've said #7 a million f-in times. Posted pics on my blog on twitter, HELL I'm going to post them in TimeSquare. And you already know how I feel about the Man keeping me down syndrome FAIL!
Adding:
You will stop saying SWAG and Futuristic. Your so called SWAG is weak and if you are futuristic please return to that time.
You willl STOP TAKING PICTURES with your designer bags. It is not cute. Clearly you need to re-evaluate what is important.
You will stop identifying with a group because your husband/wife is part of that group. YOU ARE NOT JAMAICAN SO STOP IT And PAUSE on the fake accents while your at it.
ok I better stop or my blog will be over here and I'll have to cut and paste.
Bwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahhaa! To this entire post! I'm so on number 1! I can't stand people with effed up names. I'm like WHY dammit why? My ex's niece's momma decided to name her kid Jadakiss..umm dumb biatch do you know that's his stage name. Real name JASON!! Uhhh!
I can't burn my Uggs! Even though they are UGLY as hell. They sure kept my feet warm at the Inauguration!! LOL! I'm ok with the skinny jeans just NOT ON A MAN! Good Lord!b I hate that shyt! The knots don't fit right in there!
I went to meet my girl on Saturday at Loehman's. Why did she have her hair wrapped with pins. I was like what are you doing? She said my hair is to puffy! Biatch were a damn hat! You look a hot damn mess!
@smarty- you KNOW boogers drive me nuts! UGH, yes, please clean your babies' noses!
@the f$%k it list- sounds like our fellow NYers got you all riled up again. can't wait to read it!
@shellyshell- Jadakiss? really?? UGH!
I wrapped K's hair before she left with her dad and I warned her not to even THINK about taking off her scarf until she was ready to let her hair down. I ain't having it!
I have to say my post is sponsored by the old click of friends and their BS aboout being superior to others, see why we don't roll out anymore. UGH!
But..... what about Skinny-ish jeans?? the dark blue kind that make you look good??
:(
I don't care if you love Jebus (Simpsons reference) or Satan, Mother Nature or a manmade world ... no one wants to hear you preaching, especially in the wee hours of the morning as I'm trying to get my sorry and still half asleep ass to work.
@the f$%k it list- OH LORD.. cannot wait to go read it...
@QQ- the skinny jeans reference was for dudes. you're safe.
@kelly- HOW could I have forgotten the street/subway preachers?! YES! I mean really- if I wanted to hear that mess I'd go to church. Frankly, they're infringing on my civil rights...
word
can't sell dope forever...
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