"And So We Go Back To The Remedy"

I go through these phases where I'll drink like a fish and then stop drinking for months and months.

Here's a tale from my "drinking like a fish" nights:

Who Needs a Liver Anyways?
Not since Jack was in town last November have I had so much to drink as I did last night.

I met up with Lani for a little girls night out and instead it was more like a "girls night of binge drinking and table dancing!" That's right, you read correctly, TABLE DANCING. Thank goodness I had the twins securely fastened and covered up- that bar was not ready for me. Lani on the other hand...

It started off innocently enough. We met at Swift on 4th street to chat it up and just spend some time together- it had been too long since I'd seen this chick! We bashed, then praised, then bashed men again and next thing you know it was two beers later and we were headed to another bar to meet up with a friend of hers.

At Tom & Jerry's on Elizabeth (off Houston) we hang out with Lani's friend and his motley crew of peeps, which included the owner of the bar. Can we say, "free drinks?" Hell yeah, my niggaz! And about five beers later some guy named Russel is convincing me that one more beer won't kill me. And somehow he makes a good point. What's one more beer?

Sometime later we head to yet another beer, er, bar, where everybody is shit-faced and the upstairs is full of half-naked people grinding on each other. Some more beer is placed in front of me and my mother did not raise a rude chick...so I drank it and the next one I was handed, too.

That's when I was asked to join Lani and two of the waitresses up on the bar for a little Coyote Ugly 2-step. Napkins were flying like confetti. Lani was flashing her new and very cool tat. We all held on to the ceiling for dear life. Fun was had by all.

Never mind that it was 4AM and I had to attend Mayor Bloomberg's press conference the next afternoon. Never mind that as I type this the smell of breakfast from my landlord's apartment is making chunks rise in my throat. Never mind that this fucking room won't stop SPINNING!

Drinking, dancing and singing along badly to Def Leppard's "Pour Some Sugar On Me" in a bar with your friends? PRICELESS!



*smooches...currently in a phase where I don't care for a drink*
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in my state of mind I don't think it would be wise to partake of anymore alcohol for a while; I hear it gives people the courage to do shit they normally wouldn't do. And let's just say, for the sake of argument, y'all might need me to NOT have the courage to do some shit I've been thinking of.