It's rather hard not having anything spiritual in my life, especially now that I've decided to stop faking the faith. Naturally, I've been looking for signs constantly, a message from anywhere, to tell me what to do. And since I've been escaping with music...that's where I've been hearing these messages.
Like Biggie telling me to "get a grip" or Dave Navarro telling me that "there is no love left in [my] eyes" or even Alanis telling me I reduce her to "cosmic tears." (And btw, she also asked me to help her solve the world's problems. I found her fast & outta place for that one. How is putting the world's problems on my shoulders an effective way to help me find god?)
Then Nas came along to remind me that people need someone to believe in and I was like, REALLY? GOSH I HADN'T REALIZED THAT ALREADY.
Billy Joel jumped in the mix next, telling me to pace myself because I'm just like everybody else and that I cannot handle pressure. Wow. Knife. Deep. Thanks.
(At that moment I was reminded of Halle Berry in "Things We Lost in the Fire" when she tells Benicio's character that she doesn't know when she'll ever feel beautiful on the inside again, as well as the scene in "Say Anything" when Lloyd asks his sister: How hard is it to get in a good mood and stay there? UGH! I had to fight the tears real hard; didn't want the nosy biddy sitting next to me to ask if I was alright.)
Hi, my name is Raquel, and I suffer from Depression...can you all please be nicer to me?
GREAT! Why did this billboard just ask me if I was going to Heaven or Hell? Motherfucker, I don't know! Can I get to South Station first and decide later? Get thee behind me, Christianity!
The Cranberries' Delores came in with the save, though- told me that I'm free to decide, and then Santana & Will.I.Am wanted me to know that I am somebody, that I should live my life, be myself, because I'm somebody special and somebody loves my life. They said they could see me shining bright.
Can music be religion?
Finally, Jay-Z (and The F$%k-it List) told me anyone who's not feeling me just doesn't exist (those sons of bitches) right before The Sounds reminded me that regrets are useless.
And with the battery on my iPod dying and my ears ringing from 6hrs of straight music listening, I shut my book and rested my eyes.
Point taken.
And that's how I entered my weekend in New England. With all those thoughts in my head.
*smooches...still looking for a sign*
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but the music was a real good start I'd say.
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7 comments:
Music better than religion because Music is spiritual. Given from the heart with no worries. Religion is something man created in an effort to control, I don't believe in that.
I think you'll find your way back to believing into a power greater than you, especially once you shed all that built up Catholic guilt. its part of life.
I'm glad you're on the road to feeling better.
What's all this religious talk with the two of you. I'm glad you're feeling better and back to your usual shenanigans.
But here comes the well-thought out Smarty Jones-esque answer.
Yes, anything that you do religiously becomes your religion. For example, you watch movies religiously. You listen to music religiously. You tell mf'ers to eff off religiously, yet none of those things are a diety of any sort.
You were raised Catholic, I don't know much about it other than my Catholic cousins all used to sneak and do shit they weren't supposed to and then feel bad about it later. Thank God I was raised Baptist. LoL.
This whole practice of Christianity is based on traditions and hang ups of people who are long dead and a book written by multiple writers and translated by a conservative monarch.
With all that said, do I believe in the Bible? Yes, most of it. But it contradicts itself and those folks who follow it to the letter do too and Smarty don't do hypocrites. What's good for the goose is good for the gander and if the goose is sleeping with somebody out of wedlock and then tryna stone my gays for doing what they do, I got an issue with that!
My point is, God exists, He always has, He always will. Talk to him like you talk to us, warts and all. I won't lie, sometimes, I cuss in my prayers, but if that's how I'm feeling, it's HOW I FEEL!
Church and the actions of church folks have put a lot of people off of spirituality which has NOTHING to do with religion.
I read a bumper sticker one time:
"God wants spiritual fruit, not religious nuts!"
I believe that. So when people get to telling me what I can and can't do, say or be, I tell 'em to suck it in the name of Jesus. You don't know our relationship. To quote former Republican presidential candidate Fred D. Thompson, "I'm OK with the Lord and the Lord is OK with me."
Deal with it!
Uh..what Smarty says....
ha did you just shut Irene up? HAHAHA
No she ain't! I just felt as if there was reason to repeat was Smarty McSmartison said.
:D
Shut me up...Shyeah...Right!
Sure Irene, SURE. HAHAh
i don't believe what i just read. love the desire for spirituality.
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