"Please, sir, PLEASE!" She kept pleading with him. She wanted him to give her a pass, claiming she'd learned her lesson for real and her parents need not be involved.
"I don't care. You need to learn a lesson. Call your parents."
And then she said something to the effect of, "I'm trying to learn. I'm trying!" (At least I think that's what she said.)
But he wasn't trying to hear anything she was saying. He wanted to speak with her parents. "I don't care," he said again in his thick Haitian/African accent. "Call your parents."
I had to go into the subway at this point in their conversation, even though I desperately wanted to follow them into the market to see how it all unfolded, so I can't tell you what happened next. But that didn't stop me from imagining how this MIGHT have played out.
Would her parents be called? And, knowing Indian/Muslim families the way I've come to know them since moving into this neighborhood three years ago (and gauging her fear level) would they beat her at the store or wait until they were behind closed doors? This is America after all, as I'm sure they've been made painfully aware, and the few Anglos scattered on the block are the type to call the police while us colored folks wold likely stand around watching, some even offering leather house slippers or belts for the cause.
Or would the manager take pity on her? Fall for her tears and accept that she has, in fact, learned her lesson? And what, if anything, will she take away from this scenario? To not steal or not get caught? Will she learn to respect authority figures or develop a misplaced hatred/mistrust of Black people?
But more importantly, I found myself wondering over and over as I rode the F into the city: What made her steal in the first place?
Readers- I'm trying to understand this mentality, especially because I have a new teen and in order to stay out of Riker's I've been analyzing a bunch of "gone-wrong" kids and what made them "go wrong" in the first place. I'm trying to prevent a meth-addicted K or a prematurely sexually active N.
I believe their father and I have given them a good foundation of expected and tolerated behaviors, and instilled in them the tools and encouragement and support to be successful and happy. But I'm sure Whitney's mother thought the same thing, and the Houstons even had GOD in their lives, which my daughters do not, and still Whit-Whit was hittin' that pipe something fierce.
No one wants to think it will happen to THEIR child but there are millions of kids doing drugs and sleeping around and joining gangs and DYING of self-destruction all over the country. What's to say it won't be mine (besides my belt, of course)?
Maybe I just need to stop watching Intervention every damn night...
*smooches...trying not to get too anxious about this*
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but seriously- LORD help these heifers if they don't stay on the straight and narrow. LORD. HELP. THEM.
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7 comments:
I'll be candid as a young teen I got into shoplifting kind of bad. My parents got us not always exactly what we wanted when we wanted it but we still didn't want for anything. So I will admit when I started the horrible trend it boiled down to 2 main reasons.
1. Peer pressure- the company I kept did it and I felt pressured to do so in order to fit in and or look/feel cool.
2. Greed- As stated my parents provided us all we needed and in most instances what we wanted (although it wasn't on demand). I knew if I asked them for it I would have to either wait til a bday or christmas or work hard trying to earn and save allowance money.
As a pre-teen the friends you have unfortunately influence a lot of what u do. So I can only say get to know those friends and the friends parents because that will be a tell tell sign and could possibly save yourself from being that parent on the other end of the phone.
I have an almost getting caught story too but I've said enough now.! Lol
This must be serious if you're calling for Divine intervention.
And yes, your constant viewing of that damn show is going to push you over the edge.
As a parent, you have to trust yourself enough to believe that the foundation you gave your children is solid. But at some point, you will have to clip their wings and push their lil' asses from the nest. It will be painful, but you gotta trust that your girls will make the right decisions. That's what it all boils down to. Once we become adults, nearly everything that happens to us is the direct result of a decision we've made. So, trust yourself as a mom and make sure they understand they can go to you if and when the shit hits the fan.
Do not worry yourself too much. As a teacher, I see this happen all the time in both directions. I have a student who is the most inquisitive, intelligent girl who scored the only 4 on an AP exam from a student at our school and has a 3.9 GPA and her mother is definitely a crackhead while on the other hand, I know of several kids who are probably involved in drugs outside of school and could care less about their futures who have well meaning and caring parents. It is tough but somewhat of a crap shoot.
However, I strongly believe in the scriptures when they say to "train up a child in the way that he/she should go and when he/she is old shall never depart from it". I truly believe it because while I have not been perfect, I always reflect on how mom has wanted the best for you and it leads me back to these same morals and beliefs. Continue to model the best for the girls and building on that foundation. Do not worry yourself because they may not always make the best decisions but they will know where they come from in regards to values.
Or I will just whoop their a**es 'cuz I don't play that. Please believe it. I want one of them to do a sigle drug or drop it like it's hot before her time...
peer pressure is the beast we have to kill
big up Brotherblog
Here's the thing:
You can be the best parent in the world, however, your kids are gonna do whatever they want to do. You CANNOT keep them from it and you know that. All you can do is instill the good shit into them and let them go. If they fall, you pick them up, dust them off, and let them go again.
IMHO what you have already given them is a good start.People (barring underlying mental illness) tend to be ..what their experiences sculpt them to be. I was raised by both parents and I can only assume they did a pretty decent job at it(considering I'm semi successful,and not dead or ducking warrants)but I still managed to do some DUMB shit.However..I knew exactly how far to go because of what my parents gave to me.
keep em active
keep prayin for em
keep tellin em that you'll kill em if they get outta line. lol
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