And That's Why They BOTH Got A Whoopin

There were many punishable offenses in my mother's house (poor grades, talking to boys, lying, breathing), but at Grandma and Papi's there was just one: fighting amongst ourselves. To me it seemed you could tear up the furniture, break a window and throw water balloons at the neighbors and STILL not get the chancleta, but let one of us raise a hand in anger to the other? NOPE. WHOOPIN.

As a kid this was ridiculous to me. I mean- they didn't allow us to go outside- what did they think would happen to a bunch of healthy kids locked up in a railroad apartment all day long? But then I got it... we're family, and the worst thing you can do is fight with family because they're all you got.

Fast Forward to 10PM-ish on Thursday night. I'm deep in the throws of an -itis induced nap when I hear a ruckus from the kids' room. N threw something at K so K threw it back and it hit N in the eye. LORD BE SOME PATIENCE AND A SHOT OF WHISKEY.

Then of course I hear the crying and arguing and THAT'S IT- both kids were called in to report to El Generalissimo.

"She threw something at me!"
"She hit my eye."
"I was just throwing stuff off my bed and it hit her by accident."
"She was mad because I filled out the form for the candy sales wrong."

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? THIS is why I was lulled out of my slumber?

Nah, son. That's a whoopin.

1- for fighting
2- for being up past bedtime

Did you not catch that all this took place at like 10PM? When their bedtime has clearly been established as 8PM?

"What I told you about fighting? Since when do we throw things at each other like savages? And WHY are you both still awake?? Both hands out, both of you, NOW!"

*SMACK*
*SMACK*
*SMACK*
*SMACK*

WHOOPIN.

My only regret was that I forgot to make them recite back to me why they were getting in trouble... parents PAY ATTENTION: if you choose to spank you gotta let them know why and it has to be a real reason and you gotta make the kid apologize for their behavior or lack thereof. Otherwise you're a bully and I'm calling CPS.

*smooches...not really in the mood for this shit*
----------
and wasn't I JUST saying how well-behaved my kids are? That's what I get for bragging...