And I know you also remember the photo I posted of myself right under the photo of Helen Mirren that had my stomach just spilling out all kinds of ways from my pants, right?
Well... the other day I passed by the only mirror in my apartment and thought, "hmmm, I wonder if I'm any closer to that Mirren bitch yet?" and took some pictures to compare.
Now by NO MEANS WHATSOEVER am I up to her level of GOD DAMN just yet, but thank you White Jesus I no longer look like this:
And instead am on my way:
Why should I care, you ask? Listen here, heifers, because I'm only going to say this once. How can I, in good conscious, expect- no, DEMAND- that my Mr. Right have a body to die for if I'm over here jiggling in all the wrong places? It's just basic courtesy- bring to the table the very same thing if not more of what you expect to get back.
That is all.
*smooches...hoping for the motivation to finish getting into shape*
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will it happen in 2009? eh... maybe in 2010...
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11 comments:
Good for you! Now come join me in Yoga and by Summer 2010 that old lady will be doing post on you!
i feel you chica. i was informed yesterday that as of today, i'm "in training". the hubby plans to help me whip myself back into shape. save me jeebus!
Well done.
However, can we practice some balance? I mean, how many of your tweets contain a variant of this phrase: "what is that growling sound? SHUT UP!" or "I seem to have forgotten to eat."
Don't get me wrong, that midsection is looking good. I just don't want to see stories of feeding tubes going on at the Jaded household.
@the f$%k it list- um... don't you do yoga at like 5:30 in the morning? *side eye*
@miss P- lord child! may the force be with you lol
@tyrone- AIN'T NOBODY ASKED YOU ALLLLLLLL THAT!!! *hopes no one notices I've yet to eat today...again*
Helen Mirren? That chick has at least a hundred year head start on you. what's the rush? LoL.
I feel you though. When I started this crap, I was approaching it from a health standpoint. Now it's all vanity.
If I drop another 30 pounds, I promise you that you mfers won't be able to pay me to put clothes on!
How is that heart of yours looking? And good deal on the stomach thing. Nice. I wasn't sure if it was the same person in the bottom pic, so I compared elbows.
LOL @ me being an elbow comparer.
The "Not Bootylicious" line cracked me up. My belly is actually more for safety's sake than anything. It goes like this: Back in the late 90s, there was a criminal going around stealing abdominal muscles. So I decided to hide mine under a layer of subcutaneous fat. Think of it as like "tucking your chain."
Safety first yo.
"Esa negrita que va caminando
Esa negrita tiene su tumbao"
Felicidades, mami!!
And I reiterate...Helen Mirren is an android.
@smarty- I'm so mad you said she was 100yrs older than me! Lol
@don- you know that's me, fool! Only I'm crazy enough to put myself out there like this!
@and1grad- ummmmm you're a fool, you know this, right? But a funny fool so I'll let you have at it!
@reina- hahahahaha! I do remember you calling her that!
lmao @ the pics!
in a minute...you're gonna have a phat booty! i ain't made at cha
Well, excuse me for bringing up facts.
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