Truths About Me

As if I don't already bare the contents of my soul for you every week, I decided on this post after seeing it as a trending topic by a twitter friend (@BKPhever). I wasn't in the mood to participate at the time, but when I woke up the next day it popped back into my head.

And you know I have no choice sometimes but to oblige The Voices. Those bitches know how to get their way one way or another...

So here it is- a few truths about me to file away in your mental Rolodex and use during your testimony in my competency hearing:

1- I talk to myself. A lot. And not just little conversations with myself on things I need to get done like normal people, but actually speaking to invisible people, having full on conversations, cracking jokes and the whole nine. I've done this since I was a little girl; Minnie can vouch for me.

2- TMI ALERT: After jungle-tastic activities, I'm usually the one who falls asleep. I know that distinction usually goes to the fellas, but this Jaded heifer right here? She's out for the count afterward. So... if you want me to shut the hell up so you can watch the game or play Madden Football? You know what to do...

3- I have a knack for the Romance languages, even now as an adult. I started out speaking Spanish, then studied Italian in school. When we lived in Elizabeth, NJ I started to pick up Portuguese, and in a pinch I can decipher French even though I've never studied it. It's loads of fun to experience the way my brain has to work in order to translate words.

4- Besides the millions of reasons there are to give The Vatican the side eye, I decided to leave the church because of two things: their treatment of me & K after I had her and their stance on homosexuality. I could not see myself belonging to a group that looked down on me for choosing to be an unwed mother NOR could I support an organization that made homosexuals feel like lower-class citizens.

5- I always talk about looking for a sexy, dreadlock rasta who stands at 6'4" and has the smoothest dark skin and swoon-worthy accent but honestly- I really look for someone who's company I enjoy. Someone who makes me laugh, who has a brain, who commands respect and has a kind spirit. Sometimes that means the guy is my height and light-skinned. Sometimes that means he's Indian. And who knows, one day it might mean he'll be *GASP* white. I mean of course physical attraction is always what will grab my attention first, but looks only keep mattering in fantasies; I need a more complete package in real life for the long run.

What are some truths about you?

*smooches...wondering why I tell you so much about me*
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just promise me one thing- if I'm ever institutionalized, you'll come visit me at least once a month...