"Haven't You Always Wanted A Monkey?"

One of my students at the language center needed to practice using the Conditional structure, especially the Present Unreal and the Past Unreal (it's okay if you don't know what this means. Not everyone is a grammar geek. Let me stop... I had to look this shit up, too!! lol).

I thought a pretty good exercise in the Conditional would be to make up our own lyrics to the Barenaked Ladies song, "If I Had a Million Dollars" and we actually got a bit of a chuckle with that one. So, why not try it here on the blog?

Now I know, in this day and age, especially in this economic climate, a million dollars is hardly anything to write home about. The American dollar just doesn't go as far as it used to. I know this. But let's pretend we're 5years old and a million dollars seem like an infinite and unfathomable number of bills.

I will start.

If I had a million dollars (*singing* If I had a million dollars):

1- I'd pay off my debt in it's entirety. That should leave me about enough money to buy a celebratory happy meal at McDonald's.

2- I'd buy a house in Azua, Rep. Dom. so fast...sheeeiiitttt...

3- I'd throw the biggest party on the nicest yacht, complete with a half-nekkid waitstaff imported from all manner of Caribbean islands.

4- I'd put a down payment on a BK brownstone...because you know them bitches cost like $5mil, right? Right. OK.

5- I'd make Nicole Ari Parker an indecent proposal for one night with her husband. Shit, they ain't working and they got kids to support...they might just go for it!



So? What would YOU do? Bonus points if you'd buy me something nice from the Mont Blanc store :)

*smooches...kinda mad that $1mil barely means anything anymore*
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when did THAT happen? America, we gotta do better!