One of my students at the language center needed to practice using the Conditional structure, especially the Present Unreal and the Past Unreal (it's okay if you don't know what this means. Not everyone is a grammar geek. Let me stop... I had to look this shit up, too!! lol).
I thought a pretty good exercise in the Conditional would be to make up our own lyrics to the Barenaked Ladies song, "If I Had a Million Dollars" and we actually got a bit of a chuckle with that one. So, why not try it here on the blog?
Now I know, in this day and age, especially in this economic climate, a million dollars is hardly anything to write home about. The American dollar just doesn't go as far as it used to. I know this. But let's pretend we're 5years old and a million dollars seem like an infinite and unfathomable number of bills.
I will start.
If I had a million dollars (*singing* If I had a million dollars):
1- I'd pay off my debt in it's entirety. That should leave me about enough money to buy a celebratory happy meal at McDonald's.
2- I'd buy a house in Azua, Rep. Dom. so fast...sheeeiiitttt...
3- I'd throw the biggest party on the nicest yacht, complete with a half-nekkid waitstaff imported from all manner of Caribbean islands.
4- I'd put a down payment on a BK brownstone...because you know them bitches cost like $5mil, right? Right. OK.
5- I'd make Nicole Ari Parker an indecent proposal for one night with her husband. Shit, they ain't working and they got kids to support...they might just go for it!
So? What would YOU do? Bonus points if you'd buy me something nice from the Mont Blanc store :)
*smooches...kinda mad that $1mil barely means anything anymore*
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when did THAT happen? America, we gotta do better!
Thursday, July 15, 2010
"Haven't You Always Wanted A Monkey?"
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6 comments:
1- Pay off all debt (what idiot wouldn't?)
2- Pay off my parents' & in-laws' debts...
3- Pay my bills off for one year.
4- Buy this: http://bit.ly/b6ZmH4
5- Buy this: http://bit.ly/cVSX7F
And that's probably about all I'll have money for..
Gotta say that I'm still torn with the whole rent versus own thing. I like it, when something breaks down or falls apart, that it's not my dime that has to fix it.
So I think I would consider, with my million dollars, putting away enough to cover rent for a while. Maybe enough to earn the interest that would cover the rent for a while.
Pay off my sister's debts and parents' debts.
Put money into college fund for my niece and my friends' kids.
Take a nice long trip to Spain and Amsterdam and Belgium and Italy and ...
1 -- I'd retire to Panama and build me a gorgeous cottage on the beach.
2 -- I'd hire Nacho Figueras as my personal cabana boy.
3 -- I'd hire someone to be responsible for my hair every morning and my dinner every night.
If I had a million dollars:
1. I'd pay off my debt
2. Buy two houses, one in the country, another at the beach.
3. Make my mama stop working and move in one while I lived in the other, then we'd rotate in and out every six months.
4. Start college funds for my nieces, nephews and godkids.
5.Take six months off to finish up some writing projects and apply for non-writing jobs to pay for the rest of it.
a million dollars is hardly anything to write home about.
Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeitiiiiit.
Let's see, a cool mil....
1. First of all, I'd become a career student and study Journalism at some nice and quiet college located somewhere along the East Coast, preferably Massachusetts.
2. I would "think" about placing a down payment on a BK brownstone. But since they are extremely high, leaving the possibility of my losing it down the line, I figured it would be a safer bet to simply rent some of the living area in yours.....trust me, it would be perfect.
3. I'd hire a personal chef and turn around and eat up some ish.
4. Season tickets to New York Knick fans, of course. Start dressing all cornball-like ala Andre 3000.
5. Effing rich and unhappily married white women, preferably in Manhattan.
I'd buy my mom a house, furnish it, put all of the utilities in my name and on auto pay, give her a stipend - and ask her to stop calling me every time she runs out of cigarettes.
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