I’m What’s Known As A Halloween Grinch.

I don’t like dressing up, I don’t like trick-or-treaters and I hate going out when the entire City is also out and about. Basically, I hate doing what everyone else is doing. You say white I’m going to say orange, just to be difficult.

But this year I relented because it was my cousin’s birthday and he was DJ-ing at a spot on E. Houston. It took me forever to actually get motivated to leave Brooklyn because I was nursing my ego after being rejected by yet ANOTHER literary magazine, but I grabbed a partner in crime and got there at about 1AM. My costume? I dressed as a 35-year-old mother of two who was ripped from her comfy couch and Law & Order: SVU marathon to deal with drunken fools in the street *side eye*

At first I was annoyed because the trains were acting up and then THIS:



But once I got to the bar I met up with a cute, flirty bouncer, another cousin was there, too, and then THIS:



And this:



Aaaaannnnnnnnd THIS:



It was allllll downhill from there.

This dude in the glasses kept staring at me all night!

My cousin Will and his crazy wig n disco shirt!

Will's YUMMY friend. The things I woulda done to that boy...
um, I mean, he was a nice guy O_o

NO MAS!

OKAY, UNO MAS!

The white DJ who actually played some good stuff.

The world's oldest condom...

What was left of my buffalo wings at the end of the night.

I got home at 7AM. Need I say more?

*smooches...still tired from Saturday night*
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I think my body was so tired that it summoned my period a whole week early to punish me!