So there's a fella.And right away you already know by the fact that I'm writing about him that it's probably another failed attempt at normalcy for me.
Well this fella and I had a serious discussion about commitment- marriage, babies, the rest of our lives. It was a very beautiful picture he painted in that little Mexican spot, where he downed like four tacos and six margaritas, and I sipped my water and watched.
I've known this man going on six years now and I figured, yeah, this could work. Who knows me better at this point than this beautifully-sculpted man sitting across from me, letting me know that I've always been his choice even when I had chosen others over him. I thought I could look across at this face for the rest of my life and be fine.
It was a quaint little tale with me working from home as a writer and us living six months in Brooklyn and the other six in the Caribbean. The story included travels near and far, and a lifetime of companionship and supposedly, love. He was offering security the likes of which I haven't had since I was a little girl.
I was inclined to believe it.
THEN...
He sent me a topless picture of himself.
Now, I don't want to sound like a prude, and you and I both know I have been known to cherish the occasional cock shot via BBM and all that, but his picture sort of took that beautiful painting and shat on it. It went from Picasso to Motel Art in 2.3 seconds. My heart totally sank.
Maybe I'm taking this too seriously, but I didn't want this to be like every other encounter I've had. I wanted it to remain pristine n shit, and he ruined it with that picture. I really thought this time would be different, just like I always think EVERY TIME will be different but then a particularly loud Voice keeps whispering in my ear, "Why are you so dense? Why do you keep falling for their lies?"
All I can think is, "Why not?"
Why not believe that there's a great life for me out there, with a man who will put me on the pedestal upon which I belong? Be faithful and supportive? Treat me with respect? Don't I deserve the fairytale after all the frogs I've kissed?
Besides, I don't know about y'all, but I don't want to live in a world without Picassos.
*smooches...preparing to have THE TALK yet again*
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luckily for him he's out of the country this week...next week, however *sigh*
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4 comments:
Why do you keep so many boy secrets??? I thought we were sisters...Well, just remember that your awesomeness is not validated by someone else's ability or desire to slide through and benefit off that awesomeness. Although I would love you to steal the "grown up in love w potential of (more) kids" from under my belt. The pressure is insane...
My first reaction when I read this was "why?" ... Why did he think that that was appropriate? Why did he think that was something you would want to see? Did he follow the image with any words to explain himself?
Other than this slip in judgment, you make it sound like he's right up your alley. Let's face it, no one's perfect and any man is going to slip up and make stupid mistakes from time to time. It's up to you to decide if that slip is enough to end what could be a beautiful thing or to be an opening for a deeper conversation about your wants and needs.
Since blogger ate my angry comment I have to start all over.
I don't think you're giving this man a fair chance. Okay so he sent you a pick of his body, if that's not the speed you're on with him let him know so he can correct his behavior. I'm sure he thought since he was off to Europe you might need the visual. That's how men are and they don't always get it that we're not visual creatures.
Stop looking for a reason to put on your jogging shoes and dash out. Relationships take work and my dear you're only one week in... That's not work.
Listen, men need to know what type of woman you are. Did you express this to him. Did you tell him that you want a wholesome, loving relationship? I'm a firm believer in stating the obvious and then the not so obvious. Did you give him the impression that you are into "skin"? if not then you are valid in your decision. If you gave off that vibe then he assumed the best. And he deserves another chance. Relationship do take work but some work is necessary and some is just exhausting for no reason at all.
In the end, its your call. Plus its summertime and the fish are biting...yum.
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