Ladies Love Cool Jaded. Finally.

A while back on Twitter and via a GChat conversation, I was lamenting the fact that gay women have never hit on me. That, of course, kicked my ego into overdrive and I began to complain about it. Why don't they like me? I have all the parts they like (and then some!) and yet, despite living in the NYC area for most of my life, nan one vagina has ever wanted to bump uglies with mine. #FirstWorldProblems

Fast forward to Memorial Day weekend.

I'm walking along West 3rd with the homies, on my way to SOBs for Soca Madness, and mayyyyybeeeee my breasts were prevalent in my dress. I shall not confirm nor deny this alleged description of my attire. I will concede that my 'fro was looking mighty RIGHT, though, and you already know the POWER of the 'fro.

Well, right as we pass the McDonald's on the corner, an older Black woman stops in front of me, stares into my eyes and says, "Hello, Beautiful."

*crickets*

*uncomfortable silence*

*cue laughter and jokes from Mari, Nina and @KidCunti*

*cue me walking away and never looking back*

Be careful what you wish for, my lovelies.

*smooches...crossing that encounter off my bucket list*
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now I just have to meet John Cusack, have sex with Prince and Slash, and become BFFs with Janeane Garofalo and my life will be complete