It Ain't No Fun If The Homies Can't Have None: A Healthy Jaded Update

This year I decided to get my fat ass off the couch and finally finally finally get healthy. It was the best decision I've ever made, despite the costs, injuries, frustration, etc, because I know I'm doing the right thing, especially now that both my babies are following suit.

With this change in lifestyle often comes the pulling away from certain people who aren't on the same wavelength because, frankly, you're a recovering [insert vice here]-aholic and they couldn't give one single solitary fuck about your new way of living. Luckily I haven't had to experience any of that because my friends and family are awesome sauce, but I have come across some who are also thinking of or attempting to get healthy, too, but are unsure of where to start.

Enter Healthy Jaded. She's all about helping you achieve your fitness goals because frankly, she doesn't want to be the only one. It's much better to run around in a crew of hotties than to stand out, at least for me. That way I won't be sitting across from you and your plate of steaming waffle fries while I nosh on some wilted lettuce. That will only end in bloodshed, my friend.

So here's the sitch: I am going to give away THREE fitness prizes in honor of my Five Year Blogiversary next month- two separate boot camp deals (10 sessions in BK or 5 sessions in lower Manhattan) and one Pilates deal (in Mahnattan)- to my NYC-area readers who need a little push in the right direction (in the form of FREE fitness classes).

I know I've denounced boot camp classes on this blog before, but the fact is those monstrously hard sessions did give me a head start on my fitness journey and it might just be what some of you need, too! And y'all know I love me some Pilates so I definitely want to share this lovely treat with all of you.

All you have to do is EMAIL ME at rpenzo@thejadednyer.net and write FUCK YO' COUCH! in the subject line. Then tell me in 1 - 3 sentences why you should win over all the other hos entering the contest. You have until 11:59 pm EST on Thursday, August 25 to respond. There will be up to THREE winners.

And in case you need another incentive just remember, since I started working out I've gone from THIS disgusting 197.3 lbs:



to THIS more tolerable 179.1 lbs:



Good luck, bitchezzzzz!

*smooches...waiting for you to get on board*
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listen, let me just be frank- once I get fitter I'm gonna refuse to hang w/you fatties so get yo shit together!