If you search back a few years, you'll find a post or two of me at my lowest low, when I really felt I had nothing to live for, when I actually surveyed the contents of my apartment for the best way to end my life.I can say that casually now because it was an isolated incident and well, frankly, I'm too afraid of death to invite it over. No thank you, sir. Keep it moving. Come back in about 75 years.
Now, I'm not going to put on airs and act like the fact that NO ONE knew what I was up to on that day makes me better than others who announce their suicide attempts, because in the end, had I gone through with it, I'd have given you all permission to call me a selfish bitch.
Because people who commit suicide are selfish. Point. Blank. Period. (c) Tamar Braxton
Suicides leave behind people who wonder, "What could I have done to help?" and "Why didn't I see the signs?" Family and friends blame themselves and each other for the loss and it's a pain that can probably never fully heal because those left behind never get answers. AND they have to deal with the mess-- physical and emotional mess-- left behind. It's a selfish act because the person committing it thinks their problems are so monumental and beyond anyone's comprehension, and the only way to solve everything is to die. I know because I was there once upon a time.
And it's an affront to people all over fighting for one more day on this earth. It's a slap in the face to the Universe that nurtures us and I'm glad I came to my senses.
So why this rant? Years after the fact?
I was recently privy to some tweets from someone who was posting updates about wanting to die, missing her deceased grandmother and cutting herself (and posting the pictures to prove it). I was 100% disgusted with this display. I wanted to empathize with her because hey- I miss my grandmother like you wouldn't believe, but many of her tweets were about blaming others for how she was feeling. "I blame you," read one tweet. Just like that.
Who was the "you" to whom she was referring? Not me, that's who. And not anyone else for that matter. If she feel bad, that's on her. HOW DARE SHE put the burden of her self-inflicted wounds on someone else? And then after she had her twitter followers all a-flutter trying to help her, she responds with, "I'll be fine. I'm fine." BITCH, WHAT? No. You're not fine. You just tweeted a picture of your sliced up flesh. You need help. From a professional. What you DON'T need is to be all up on Twitter blaming strangers for your depression, then dismissing their attempts to lend a hand.
I'm not trying to poo-poo her feelings or her depression. I know firsthand how crippling it can be, but her behavior on this particular day, with all this blame-game nonsense? NO MA'AM. I hope she gets help and starts to feel better about her life, but in the meantime...selfish shit like that gets NO LOVE from The Jaded Empire.
*smooches...storming back in with some tough love*
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some things just need to be said.
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5 comments:
Girl, I am so with you. She obviously has some SERIOUS problems and I do feel bad that she is going through whatever she is going through.
But damn...
I'm of the personal thought that a person who really wants to kill him/herself does it. No announcement. No "goodbye world". They just go, use whatever method makes them happy, and does it. And when they mean it, they are successful.
I know exactly the tweets you are talking about. I was watching that mess go on and just thinking "this girl is sick, she needs help."
But I was also disgusted by it all. I mean, to show a photo of your cut up leg with blood spewing out of it...that's not her wanting to die, she just wanted to draw attention to herself. It felt like a game to me: Let's See How Many People I Can Get To Feel Sorry For Me. Most of us have played that game, but not when were were kids and not to that severity.
I saw the tweets that night and I was disgusted. Not because she was "thinking" of committing suicide but because of the blame game she draged all of her followers (and their followers) into.
It's irresponsible to turn your emotions on other people and make them feel bad because you do. This just happens to be an extreme version of that but it happens so often that I've cut people off completely after displays like this.
But if we agree that folks who cry out for help need help and are not of right mind, who are we to call them selfish? I don't think suicide is selfish. When a person I knew and looked up and loved committed suicide i asked te same questions but isn't being selfish only askin about "I" and not that other person? In the end it was't about me or what I could have done it was about that person.
That young lady you describe could have been talking about a particular person. We don't know that. It could be much deeper than we even assume to know. It's easy to look down on that person and blame the world or the Internet but we cannot assume to know...
Omi- Sorry for your loss, and I am with you to a point. Suicidal people aren't of right mind, agreed, but in my opinion it doesn't make their actions any less selfish.
Also, to me, it doesn't matter if she meant a specific person when she tweeted "you" because ultimately she is responsible for her own feelings. It's not anyone else's fault.
I just used this example today:
If I purposely stepped on your foot, you can blame me for your foot hurting. But if you're in a bad mood that day because I stepped on your foot earlier, that's on you, not me.
I completely disagree with Omi and agree completely with Jaded. I was there before. Drunk + depressed + pills = disaster.
What stopped me was a call from my sister, who was also drunk, and felt the need to tell me how much she loved me and how important I was in her life and the life of my niece.
People who commit suicide never consider the people they leave behind. The people who love them and would be devastated about them ending their life.
At the end of the day, everyone has a life of their own and it's not always about you or anyone else. Anyone who feels the need to be the center of someone else's world to feel worthy is selfish. It screams, "I'm more important than anything you have going on!"
I agree with Omi that these folks are not in their right mind, but what about recognizing that you need help? Put as much energy into yourself as you are asking other people to put into you.
Sorry I wrote a book, but I'm now disgusted with this girl and myself, too. #foolishness
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