People- we've got a MAN DOWN CODE 10 situation! All hands on deck PRONTO!
N is fucking up at school, y'all. Believe it or not a child of mine is missing assignments and not performing at her best, and this situation has to be nipped in the bud ASAP.
This morning she and I (and her dad...1 hour LATE, but that's another topic for another day) met with her dean to discuss what N's teachers have reported to date: She's not focusing or listening in class, the homework is missing or incomplete and in general she's half-assing it. When asked, N either gives the dead stare or says she forgot or didn't hear the teacher [insert Jaded side-eye here] or is distracted by her classmates [way to pass the buck *smh*].
While I understand there may be an emotional or hormonal component to this problem, what I'm looking for right now are tips on how to get her to stay on task. Maybe you have a kid who's unfocused, too, or you've known or taught someone like N who is incredibly smart but rather scatterbrained, or maybe I'm describing YOU as a 6th grader- whatever the case, any temporary solutions we can enact while we get to the root of the problem and fix it, would be so appreciated!
Please feel free to email me or leave it in the comments :)
*smooches...fresh out of ideas with this child*
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because every time I get a "N is missing an assignment" letter all I want to do is beat her ass. I haven't yet, but my belt is oh-so-close to connecting with her ass... Won't you help save an 11-year-old's life today?
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4 comments:
Is it possible that she's bored with the work in general? It's possible that the curriculum is beneath her skill set (too easy). Or maybe above it (too hard). That can cause a child to kind of mail it in, so to speak.
How about taking her out, just the 2 of you, and just talk to her one on one about what is going on. If you can discuss it with her in a way that she doesn't feel like she is in trouble, but rather you are showing concern for her, maybe she will be able to talk about it more freely.
I mean, what happened during the summer that has caused such a change in attitude toward her work? So weird.
Might sound strange but I was wondering if she wears glasses. If not, could she need them? I remember school suffering because I didn't want to admit I couldn't see the board.
I agree with Irene ... talk to her and let her know you just want to help, to understand. And a dead stare can't be acceptable ... she needs to try to express why. Maybe you could ask her what she needs ... to study better, to not forget her homework, to feel less distracted.
Ok, I was the bored 6th-12th grader that missed assignments. I even skipped classes from 6th grade on (hiding out in the bathroom because I was too goody-goody to skip from 6th-8th grade). Here are some things you need to address:
1. Get her vision checked
2. Check out if she has a mild learning disorder
3. Shee needs an adult mentor and a slightly older peer. Someone has to encourage her and hold her accountable, because right now Mom, you don't exist. Nature of the beast.
4. See if she needs a mental health evaluation. I was MISERABLE growing up, and I had no one to turn to. It is only by the grace of God, the fact that I was late bloomer and uninterested in boys until 17 or so, and that the sex ed classes i went to from 6-8th grade sacred the beejeebus out of me [seriously, there are some things disease can do to body parts that just aint right] that I didn't end up trying to comfort myself with sex or drugs or the like. She may be suffering from anxiety, to depression, to any other mental issue that she doesn't even know how to name.
5. Be the best, happiest, most at peace you that you can be. Each child is different, and some are more emotional than others. All children pick up on mom's vibes, and act out in different ways. You are a parent, a mother, so you are going to go above and beyond for your children. But you also have to take care of you, so that your children can not only learn how important self-care is, but also learn that they are not the center of the universe, not even their mother's.
5. Monitor who she is around. Male and female. If ANYONE gives you a bad vibe - investigate, investigate, investigate. She could be being bullied, it could be something else. Not to cause panic, but just so you can cover all bases.
Oh, also ask teachers to look for certain indicators that other students are giving her a hard time. Sadly, I can attest that sometimes, you don't notice something until it's pointed out to you. And N is probably falling in the middle somewhere, so she doesn't get top priority like the best and the worst do. Hold her teachers accountable for being your eyes in the classroom.
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