Many women have come before me, fighting the good fight against all odds to ensure that I'd have equal rights in this country and beyond. We're not 100% there but we're definitely a long way from where we were. Women head corporations, small businesses, adopt children and own property, all without having their dads, husbands or brothers cosign or vouch for them. Hillary Clinton even came close to getting the Democratic National Committee to select her as their candidate for president of the United States.
I applaud all the women that were harassed, terrorized, jailed, spat on, abused or humiliated so that I, and my daughters, could have a fair shot at a good life, free of prejudice. I'm definitely grateful.
But with that freedom, some of us women (and men) have forgotten that what was really being fought for was to not be seen as a second-class citizen. To have the power to choose our paths to happiness. And that everyone's happiness does not look the same.
I recently read a blog post by Quiana Stokes entitled "How To Survive As A Stay-At-Home-Girlfriend" where she proceeded to describe how she keeps her and her boyfriend's home tidy, prepares his meals and makes herself available to him sexually whenever he wants. It was nothing shocking- a lot of Stay-At-Home-Moms do pretty much a lot of that stuff, too, with the noted difference of a marriage license and one or two rugrats traipsing about. However the people in the comments, as internet folks are wont to do, trashed this woman, and blamed her for setting women back hundreds of years. It all made me sigh heavily.
Listen, suffragettes and feminists battled for our right to be whomever we wanted to be. If what the author is choosing is to be the woman behind the man then let her be! She's not setting anyone back by choosing this path of happiness. She's just exercising her freedom to choose. The Equal Rights Movement wasn't about making us all CEOs and Presidents and Boss Hogs, it was about opening the doors to that life for- are you ready? THOSE WHO WANT IT.
It's not fair to force your ideology on others because they're not doing what YOU would do. If she's happy being this guy's live-in girlfriend then let her! Have a tall glass of Shut The Fuck Up and let her enjoy her choices! I'd hate to think that anyone would talk sideways about me if I decided to be a housewife one day. What business is it of anyone?
It's not illegal to bypass a corporate life or to forgo being Super Independent Feminist. It's not the life everyone dreams of. It's just one of the many choices we're lucky to have. All the Judgy McJudgertons need to sit all the way down and get their life. Quiana Stokes already got hers.
*smooches...wishing I had a Quiana in my life*
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I'd love to come home to a clean house and a hot meal, shooo! y'all just jealous of her stee-lo!
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3 comments:
Ooh, I love it! When I finally stopped lying to myself and said that is the life I wanted, you wouldn't believe the kind of feedback I got from cousins, friends and just people in general. "I thought you wanted more out of your life." What the hell kinda statement is that to say to someone?
Yo, I say more power to Quiana. If she feels like she wants to do that and she's not being forced or coerced, I say dooooooo eeeeeeT! If those folks aren't paying any bills or cooking any meals, they can all kick rocks.
This world is getting ridiculous! If you don't fit into the little box people think you should you're blasted and setting back a group.
Unfortunately the heavy sigh goes both ways too often I've dealt with the stay at home moms thinking I'm doing my child a disservice because I have a corporate gig. They are relentless and often quite mean. I wish women would stop looking at each other as a the enemy and try to uplift each other regardless of differences.
@smarty- in 2012, I'm gonna need people to stop projecting their own issues on others. Live your life and I'll live mine.
@the f$%k it list- If only mothers banded together instead of judging, we could become the village our children need!
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