Everything Will Be Fine.

Speak it into existence with me; this will be our April mantra.



Wednesday the sun kissed me full on the lips and I smiled. And then a handsome stranger walked by and I greeted him. And then I treated myself to an ice cream and said, "Fuck the calories!"

At the end of the day, I walked home through the park. Spring has a way of kicking depression in the face sometimes.

Then I got the call: my babies' grandmother died, ending her year-long battle with cancer. I hate that they've been introduced to death and grief so early in life, but it's not something I can control. I will not dwell on it and I will not let them dwell on it.

I'm taking them on a nice family vacation next week. We will sip fruity drinks on the beach and speak only in Spanish and dance and run and play. There will be no blogs to update or tweets to send out or calls to take. No homework, carpool, AP exams or grandmothers to bury. Just fun in the motherfucking sun.

We will be on vacation from work, school, life AND technology, so consider this your notice; Casa Penzo is on hiatus.

*smooches...getting over the hump*
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everything WILL be fine.

Fight Or Flight

On our way to yet another Zumbathon with Mami, Mari revealed she believes that faced with an emergency, she'd just give up and die. "And don't tell people I died fighting, either. Tell the truth: 'She peaced out'," Mari said (or something close to that) while I laughed and laughed. This topic came up as I explained why, all of a sudden, I'm learning to shoot, perfecting my swimming and plotting some archery lessons for me and the babies.

People, look around. Shit's a-changing and not for the better. Call me a crazy conspiracy theorist but I will not be caught out there during The Revolution without any survival skills. In the past, my response to danger or threats was to run away fast and far without looking back. I wasn't one of those movie chicks who fell down because she kept checking to see if the killer was still behind her. Nope. I kept my eyes on the prize: AWAY AND FAR.

But I'm a little older now and I can't guarantee that I can run as fast as I used to, despite the fact that I'm healthier today than I've ever been. I'm also not as much of a scaredy-cat as I used to be. This is my FEARLESS year, remember. I actually picked up a firearm and shot directly into the chest of that target without hesitation or remorse. I jumped into the deep end of the pool and didn't panic. I answered my creditors' phone calls and set up payment plans to clean up my credit report. I went to TWO funerals. I GAVE UP MILK! These things may not seem badass to you but if you knew me, the REAL me, you'd know how big all of these events were in my life.

I was never the fighting type. I have a big ol filthy mouth, but was never a fighter. However, I see all these seeds of anarchy and disaster being planted all around me and all of a sudden I'm in full defense mode. I'm just starting to enjoy life; I'll be damned if I let it go without a fight. If my boat capsizes I will kick a shark in the eye repeatedly. If someone comes at me on the street, at the very least, "one of us is gonna be walking funny." (c) Julia Sugarbaker. I won't be meek or quiet or frightened. I will learn all I need to protect my life and my family and survive. I will learn how to catch and kill and cook my own food. I will learn to build necessary shelter. I will learn all the things my caveman ancestors knew PLUS all the stuff modern man knows, too, and I will coast into old age with a battle cry on my lips.

On my tombstone it will say, "Here lies Raquel; she died taking a whole bunch of motherfuckers with her."

The Revolution won't catch me slipping.

*smooches...fighting life in the face*
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just because I finally learned how.

Shit Mami Says, Part Cuatro

MARI: Mom, look at you with your college ponytail and your shorts on...I don't know about you.

MAMI: You are obsessed with me.

MARI: No I am not obsessed with you. What is that term called when you are in love with your mom?

MAMI: You mean incest??!

*smooches...packing up my stuff and leaving*
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of all the crazy things to ever have come out of my mom's mouth...I can't...

Raquel I. Penzo, Published Author

All my life I've been waiting for this moment, and then I forgot about it for three whole days. Figures.

But better late than never. Ladies and gentlemen:

I'm published!

Look, Ma, I'm FAMOUS!

You can all say you knew me when...

*smooches...full of conceit*
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and loving every minute of it!

Wise Little Girl

I briefly shared the situation surrounding Trayvon Martin's murder with my little one. Just to keep her abreast of the news and to make sure she got the facts from me and not anyone else. Her response? She got up from her seat, shook her head and walked away muttering,

"This country ain't been right in a long time."

*smooches...super proud to be her mom*
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I swear, she's an old soul; she's definitely been here before!

Jaded Photographs: April 2012 Edition

"Not My Doing"

*smooches...understanding the sentiment*
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sometimes you're so mired in your own shit that even the thought of others' happiness makes you want to barf.