Plotline Pet Peeves: Stupid Characters, Vol. 1

I'm a film critic.

Not because I'm in a paper writing film reviews (which I have done) but because television (and cable, I guess) was my very best friend growing up. You know, since us kids weren't allowed outside. Please believe that I've watched a gazillion movies in my lifetime- both good and bad- so I've pretty much perfected the art of deconstructing them.

It's just another talent I've decided to share with y'all.

So today I'm starting this series of posts on film plot discussions, namely the things that tend to piss me off, with part one of Stupid Characters.

You've seen it a million times: A movie character is in cahoots with a bad guy, a bad guy who has divulged all of his bad deeds to the character. Then it happens- the character and the bad guy get into an argument and the character STUPIDLY says to the bad guy, "I will tell the cops EVERYTHING!"

And gets shot all up in his face.

This scene/situation runs rampant in movies and TV shows and frankly, I'd like writers to stop being so goddamn lazy. WHO on this planet is stupid enough to say to a mafioso, drug dealer, pimp: "I will tell the cops EVERYTHING!"?!?! Whyyyyy? WHOOOOOOO?

I know, I know, it's not real. We should willingly suspend disbelief a little. Give the "stupid character" device a chance to move the plot along, but you know what? I DON'T WANT TO. And if you prefer quality entertainment that doesn't assume the viewers are plum idiots you'd agree with me.

Am I being a harsh movie snob? Probably. Do I care? Nope. Not as long as lazy writers don't care about the product they put out.

*smooches...promising to leave this stunt out of my film*
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I'd hate to be a hypocrite!