I'm feeling generous; here are some more facts about yours truly, in case you were DYING to get to know me better:
1- I'm not a picky eater, but if you put eggplant or salmon on my plate I will fight your face and go on a hunger strike. My grandmother used to cook eggplant and force me to eat it even though the texture reminded me of phlegm. The trauma of it all remains with me always.
2- I abuse every bit of power ever placed in my hands; because of this I've agreed (with The Voices) to never run for any kind of office. If you put me in charge I will be mean and rude and make everyone working for me cry or feel true fear.
3- I looked up my name on iTunes (I also google my name often) and found these songs. Yes, I'm super-vain like that. And look, they're both love songs, because everybody loves me and I'm so loveable men are moved to create songs about me telling me of their love :)
4- During a consultation with someone I sought alternative treatment from, I admitted out loud that I stay up late at night because I'm not ready to accept the reality of the next day, especially if I haven't done anything productive. It's like "Oh look, nothing from the TO DO list is done. You can't go to bed until you do these things because tomorrow you won't have time." Next thing you know it's 3AM and all I've done is watched clips of those hens fighting on "The View."
5- Much to my chagrin, I'm very in tune with my body, and I know the millisecond it's not going to feel well. I can also feel almost every aspect of my reproductive cycle, especially when I'm ovulating from my right side. And let me tell you, it's quite painful. It's also scary as hell; reminds me too much of my own mortality. But on the plus side, if I ever want another baby, I know to wait until I'm ovulating from the left side a.k.a the non-retarded ovary/fallopian tube.
*smooches...wondering what will be left to say in my memoir*
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oh who am I kidding; I leave so much out I could fill TWO memoirs! now tell me 5 things about you :)
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2 comments:
1. When eating a bag of chips, I separate the broken from the whole. I eat all the broken ones first then the whole ones.
2. I talk to myself. I also answer, at times.
3. I will still shamelessly eat a box of Kraft mac and cheese. A whole box. It must be Kraft and it must be the crappy powdered cheese.
4. My memory is shot to sh*t thanks to a number of head injuries and more than my fair share of drugs in college. In just about any book I've ever read, you'll find at least one post-it reminding me of some number or some address or some person I need to see.
5. I don't want to ever have kids but I love having them in my life. My niece is the cutest, smartest, funniest little thing in the whole wide world ... but I still love that I can give her back when she's stinky, throwing a tantrum, or otherwise acting "not fun."
1. Im afriad to accept the horrible place I am in life at 30.
2. I hate when I get caught talking to myself. After living alone I barely know when its outside or inside anymore.
3. When homeless people tell me their problems. I want to tell them mine than pay them. I usually give nothing when I think about how much I did for that few dollars.
4. I love food but I am lazy. I will go to my favorite eatery and get enough for a few meals so I don't have to get up on my days off.
5. I often wonder what I did for the past year of my life to be as bad as it has been.
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