Ex-Patriot

Breaking News: I'm moving to the Dominican Republic.

The sun and surf agree with me.

On this recent trip I saw some of the more touristy sites of Santo Domingo and frankly, fell in love with the island. Hard. Like, first crush, Jake-Ryan-knows-you-exist hard, 1980s-Bobby-Brown-bringing-you-on-stage-during-"Tenderoni" hard, Lloyd-Dobbler-holding-that-damn-boombox-over-his-head-outside-your-window hard. Ever since I came home, every moment that I wake up in Brooklyn leaves me feeling out of place.

Brooklyn is beautiful, and it's home, and its 70s, 80s and 90s culture runs through my blood. But I've been feeling a pull toward something else for a very long time, and I think Santo Domingo might be the answer. I used to think I'd be buried in New York. Now, not so much. I want to live out my last writerly days under a Caribbean sun, tending to my fruit trees and herb garden. Strolling through town to say "hello" to my neighbors (yes, ME, saying hello to neighbors. Can you imagine?). Going for a swim in Las Barias on super-hot days. Dozing off to the pulsating bass from the dance hall in the town square.

I mean, Brooklyn (And NYC in general) is changing so damn fast. This new influx of out-of-towners and the City's plan to homogenize every block everywhere is leaving such a bad taste in my mouth. There's a dying culture in this place and it stinks like a week-old carcass. Don't get me wrong--change is happening in DR, too, but at a much slower pace. There's still a lot of untouched beauty on that island. Some of its ghettos remind me of Brooklyn in the 1980s and the nostalgia calls out to me.

So consider this my notice. I live here now, but soon (as in within the next 10 to 15 years) I'm packing up all my shit and I'm jumping ship. Brooklyn, I love you, but you've changed so much that I hardly recognize you sometimes. You barely feel like home anymore. You'll always be in my heart, and I may buy some property here just to have an anchor in what used to be home, but I think this is where we part.

*smooches...promising to say goodbye before I leave*
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there will be a massive house party somewhere; I promise!