Wait- let me back up a bit and go on a tangent.
Recently, I decided I was done dating. I don't really like myself right now and I REALLY don't like other people, and the thought of a first date makes me want to burrow INTO my sofa instead of just laying on it. And TMI but it has to be said, I don't enjoy sex. It's messy and my fibroids make the act rather painful. The thought of having to fake it YET AGAIN with someone new is too much for me right now. I don't want to. So I decided to just be done with dating because I know how you men are; no sex is a dealbreaker, right? Right.
On another tangent, having to deal with Ks tuition bills and my own suffocating debt has forced me to really face the music about my finances and crawl out of this broke-ass sinkhole once and for all. I have a great job that pays me super-well. There's no reason why I should be emptying out piggy banks at the local CoinStar machine just to buy groceries. At work, I heard about a free service offered by the City to meet with a financial counselor one-on-one and I jumped at the chance. FREE is my favorite word these days, and frankly, all I can afford until I snag up three more jobs like the third cousin twice removed of the Hedleys.
This is where both tangents meet up and give birth to the first sentence of this post.
Tonight I met the most beautiful man. He was tall, brown skin, bearded, fit, smart, well-groomed, funny, charming, and possessed the sexiest pair of lips I've seen in a very long time. He plays football, y'all. FOOTBALL. He owns his own home and other properties. He's so "good on paper" I'd sign off on a myomectomy so fast, just so that I could give him a million babies.
People, he was EVERYTHING
Tonight I met the most beautiful man. But, because my life is a motherfucking sitcom, that man just happens to be the person who is now privy to my atrocious credit score, terrible spending habits, and irresponsibly out-of-control debt.
Touché, Jesus. I see what you did there.
*smooches...losing miserably at life*
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I've never really been good at chess but I do believe this is a checkmate situation, no?
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6 comments:
LOL! Yes, that is the universe laughing at you. It's laughing at all of us a little though.
I need to meet with a financial counselor too. I need in on that.
Yes girl, when he came over to introduce himself I almost drooled and blurted out "Let's do it on your desk" SMH
I need help...
Also, I'll email you the info about the free counseling.
Funny! And, oh, the irony... Welp... Have you thought of monetizing your site?
juju- I have thought about it and decided I didn't want to clutter my site with ads.
"Touche, Jesus..."
I feel like this should be his new name. Like when something hilariously sad happens to us.
"What the hell?!"
"Touche Jesus."
I am going to agree with Tiffany. Definitely going to say Touche Jesus instead of WTH!!
Now on to your post, no sex is definitely a deal breaker in this day and age. Not to say that there isn't anything else that's not important but that physical connection tends to solidify many things in the whole dating scene.
But in the case of your financial adviser there is nothing wrong with you picturing him naked during every meeting. Enjoy the visuals and get what you need from him.
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